Revelations:alternate ending
by cm4ever
Summary: An alternate ending from the famous crimi episode revelations. Includes P.O.V from every team member. Warning Character death. No slashes just alot of fluffy emotions.
1. Chapter 1

So I decided to make an alternate ending for the famous Crimi episode Revelations, it`s gonna have every team members P.O.V, including Reid who as much as I love, this is not gonna end well for him. My first official Fanfiction story, please review, first chapter is a little bit short but they will be longer. Also my qoutation mark key is broken, but its pretty obvious when their talking.

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_Reid`s P.O.V_

The cruel thing about living in this world, is we have no say when it`s time to leave it. We can give no warnings or prepare our loved ones for our final departure.

Reid could feel tears streaming down his face as he realized this was it. The end. He knew death was unavoidable, always did, but he never thought it would end like this. He thought when he died, in his profession death was possible daily, he would be surrounded by his friends, his family. But they were miles away in Hankels old house trying to find him. He knew when they did it would be to late. He pushed the shovel deeper into the ground, but the exaustion, added onto by having no food for the past two days and Tobias Hankel`s over dosing of drugs on him (not enought to kill him, but enough for him to get addicted) tormented him and slowed him down.

`Dig faster`growled what Reid assumed to be the identity of Charles Hankel.

Ì`m to weak` whimpered Reid.

That thought made the tears come faster. As much as he tried to deny it, as much as his friends had denied it, he knew in his heart it was true. It always would be. The only reason he even got a job in the F.B.I was because he was incredibly smart. If he had to rely on brawn as much as brain to get the job, he would never have gotten it. Or that was what he told himself anyway.

`You`re all weak`growled Hankel, grabbing the shovel from Reid.

Reid backed away, looked up, and froze, hope starting to spread through him for the first time in two days. He saw lights, flashlights to be exact, scouring the woods surrounding him, unfortuannly Hankel did to. Charles glared at him, hate penetrating his eyes, using his free hand to grab a knife and point it at Reid. Reid reacted quickly, dropping down to pick up the spare gun in Hankels coat pocket. Not fast enough though. As he was bending down, a blinding flash of pain came from the back of his head and he crumpled onto the ground, stars dancing in his eyes. He let out a small moan and touched the back of his head. His hands came back soaked in blood. He looked up and saw Hankel standing above him holding a shovel caked in blood. Reid moaned again, pain shooting through his skull.

`Help` He tried to shout, but his mouth made no noise.

Hankel grabbed his hair and dragged him to the freshly dug grave. It was not very deep, but it was deep enough to bury Reid. He threw him in and Reid yelped in surprise and pain. One of the flashlights shone their way, probably they heard the noise, but were to far to actually see what or who was out there. Reid knew they would come check here, but he wondered if they`d be there in time to save him. He hoped so, but his hope was limited and right now, as Hankel poured dirt over him, it was non-exsistant. Soon Hankel`s sneering face was gone, and all Reid could see was darkness. He could feel it as the dirt compressed his chest, and as it began to pour into his mouth and nose, and soon, he felt nothing.

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OMG i can`t belive i did that to poor reid because he is my fav. Character on the show, but i wanted to get across how much it would hurt the team if he was gone. Hotch`s P.O.V. next. plz review.


	2. Chapter 2

So here`s part 2. I would like to thank you gys for ur awsome reviews and Revelations Revised: A True Ending. is really good. I recomend reading it.

Hotch is one of the hardest ppl to write about for this story, because it`s like Reid is not like a baby brother to him like Morgan, but at the same time he`s more of a son to Gideon than Hotch. So if this chapter sucks plz 4give me.

Disclaimer: As much as i would love to i do not own criminal minds, or reid :(

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**_Hotch`s P.O._****_V_**

Hope is paralyzing. I have heard that expression many times in my life, said it to, but for once I actually knew what it felt like. I felt like I couldn`t move, couldn`t think, couldn`t breathe, until we got our youngest agent back. I honestly don`t know how we could go on without him. Prentice was driving, probably because she was the only one that could think straight. It wasn`t that she didn`t care about Reid, it`s just because she was newest to the team and didn`t know him that well. Everybody else was lost in thought. Fear, anger, and worry swirled around the small S.U.V we were in. I added a new emotion to it, guilt. I knew JJ was probably feeling it to, but I was feeling it hard core. I was the one who sent Reid and JJ to the house. I had not checked into it as much as I should have, and I should have sent him with someone else like Morgan or Prentice, hell even I could have gone. No offence to JJ but she is not a trained feild agent. As the cabin came into view, Prentice hit the gas pedal harder, pushing it to 200 mph. The cabin came steadily closer faster as we sped towards it. Finally she hit the breaks. The van skidded and swung into a full circle before screeching to a stop. After making sure everyone was ok, I jumped out and raced to the door, hearing the others following behind. It was not a shock to me that Morgan was already at the door, he probably jumped out while the van was spinning. He looked at me, a question in his eyes. I nodded and he spun around and kicked the door down, running into the cabin. I sped up, flew up the steps and skidded to a stop inside. There was a horrible smell that seemed to be everywhere, having no general starting point. The chair where Reid had been tied and tortured was empty. In fact the whole cabin was empty.

`Where is he` growled Morgan.

`There`s a cemetary` my voice cracked, `Out back`

Everybody froze in horror as realization struck in. What other use is there for cemetaries besides putting dead bodies?

But I didn`t voice that, instead I said, `He might still be alive, but we need to go look now`

Morgan was first one out the door, not even bothering to listen to me finish that sentence. I followed pulling a flashlight out, and tried to make it as bright as possible. Normally we would prefer the element of surprise but right now, we would have to see everything. To see if there was a footprint, or peice of hair. _Or a body, _my mind whispered. I winced at the very thought. We continued through the dense bushes, half of us, I gave up on trying to figure out who everybody was all over the place, were making our way towards the cemetary, while the other half were circling on the outer edges. All of a sudden I heard a faint yell, so small if I had been crunching leaves I would not have heard it, but as luck goes I was standing on a flat plain of grass. I swung my light in the direction, but it was to far to make anything out. `Guys` I shouted, than raced towards the direction the noise had come from. I heard pounding steps behind me, than infront as Morgan overtook me. We saw a shape walking towards us. I felt a huge burst of happiness until I realized that it was to big to be Reid. I skidded to a stop while Morgan kept running and than tackled the guy.

`Where is he you son of a bitch` Morgan demanded, a dangerous edge to his voice.

The man let out an chuckled, I knew instantly that it was Hankel, for it was a voice I wouldn`t soon forget. Almost instictivly, I grabbed my gun and put my hand on the trigger. I felt a hand grab my shoulder.

`Don`t` Gideon said into my ear.

`He deserves to die` I couldn`t keep the hate and disgust out of my voice.

`He does, and I have no problem with you pulling the trigger, but we need to find out where Reid it first`

I could tell Gideon had the same urge to kill the man to, but we both knew he was right. Common sense over ruled desire in this case. For Morgan it was evident that desire was ruling right now. He was strangling Hankel, or whatever personality it was, and shouting at him.

`WHERE IS HE!`

Hankel gave no response.

`Morgan, he can`t answer if he can`t breathe` Gideon shouted.

Everybody else watched in silence and disapointment as Morgan loosened his grip. We all wanted him dead.

Òne more chance` Morgan growled, `Where is he?`

There was a moment of silence, before Hankel`s face twisted in fear.

`Buried` replied Hankel, clearly Tobias because he had been the only helpful one in this whole ordeal.

`Shut up boy` another voice growled, as the face twisted into a mask of hatred.

I ignored that exchange as I felt my heart stop. What did he mean buried? Morgan voiced that question out loud. But Hankel only laughed. Morgan jumped up.

`Hotch we need to look now` He whispered.

His face was frozen in determination, but his eyes held a terrified look. One that mirrored mine and probably everyone elses.

`Everyone search for freshly dug graves` I ordered.

We split up quickly. I was walking in the direction Hankel had come from, when all of a sudden I heard Morgan yelling. I raced towards him, and when I got to him, I felt my legs turn rubbery. Morgan was shining a flashlight on a tombstone that read to words. Spencer Reid. Morgan began clawing at the ground desperatly well I shone my flashlight around, looking for a shovel. I found none, so like Morgan, I bent down and began clawing, until my hand hit something hard. The shovel. I quickly picked it up and began digging, Morgan backed off giving me room. I stopped when I hit something soft.

`That`s weird, aren`t coffins usaully..`my sentence trailed off as I looked down in horror.

`No` I whispered.

The rest of the team crowded around me, some bursting into tears at the site. There, buried in dirt, was a pale human arm. I threw the shovel away, it would do more harm than good and began to brush away the dirt. Morgan was franticly digging around the arm, trying to loosen the soil so we could pull him out. About a minute later we could. I grabbed his legs, Morgan grabbed his arms, and we began to gently pull him out. Dirt fell off his body like rain. I looked at his frail body and decided not just to kill Hankel, but to torture everyone of those god damn personality`s, just like they had tortured us for the past two days. Just like they were torturing us right now. I ignored the crying and the yelling going on around me and focused on giving Reid CPR.

`Come on` I begged. `Breathe`

I pushed on, even when I felt my breath running out, even as the tears fell down my face. I got no resonse.

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Once again sorry if it sucked. Plz review. JJ`s P.O.V next.


	3. Chapter 3

So JJ`s . next. I know some words or sentences will repeat themselves, but only a few and that is only because when the whole team is together they hear the same thing. I try to update as fast as possible but for the next week I will be at a camp so I will not be able to update (but I will keep writing it on when I get the chance). Plz keep reviewing and the next chapter will be uploaded next Saturday night. Thx so much for your support :)

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_**JJ`S P.O.V**_

__`It`s the end of the world as we know it` was blasting out of the radio before Hotch shut it off. Ironiclly enough it was completely accurate. Whether or not we got Reid back, hopefully we would, nothing would be the same. If we did, Reid would probably not be as innocent and trustworthy as he had been before, and if we didn`t (I shuddered at the thought) than none of us would be the same. I felt tears begin to slide down my face at the thought of losing him. Especially because this was my fault. I should not have split up with him. I may not be a feild agent but isn`t it just common sense to stick together? Especially when we learned that we were right outside the house of a horrible serial killer? I felt like punching myself. I was crushed between Morgan and Gideon. Gideon was staring out the window lost in thought, while Morgan was visibly shaking in anger.

`As soon as we catch this asshole...` He trailed off.

He didn`t finish the threat, but I knew what he meant. We all wanted to hurt this man, more than he had hurt Reid. I had a feeling he wanted to hurt me to, well not really phsically hurt me, but he wanted to yell at me. He was very protective of Reid, and anyone who in any way hurt Spence would have to answer to Morgan. He had already more or less told me it was my fault when I asked him, but still, I felt like he wanted to straight out say it. The guilt and saddness crowded my brain so I didn`t notice when Prentice hit the breaks, as the van spun I clutched Morgan`s arm, who arruptly pulled it away, and tried to slow my heart down as it began to stop. Hotch looked over at us.

`Is everybody Ok?` he asked.

`Physically yes` Gideon replied, as I nodded.

Hotch ignored the comment and jumped out of the van, racing towards the little cabin.

`Where`s Morgan` Prentice asked glancing at the empty seat.

`Knowing him, he probably jumped out while the van was spinning` Gideon sighed.

Than he pulled open the door and ran to the cabin to. Prentice and I were last ones out. When we got into the cabin, I quickly threw a hand over my nose, the stench was so horrible. I looked around and saw the chair Reid had been tied in. At least it was the right place, but where was he? Hotch answered that question after we gathered around him.

`There`s a cemetary out back` His voice broke.

I could hear so many emotions in his voice during that short sentence. Fear, anger, and worry, also guilt? Why was Hotch feeling guilty? It was my fault we were even in this mess.

`He might still be alive, but we need to look now` Hotch said, urgency overtaking his voice.

Everyone raced out the door. I turned on my flashlight, on low, I didn`t want Reid to get any more hurt than he already was, and started searching the outer edges of the trees. All of a sudden I heard Hotch shouting. I raced in the direction it had come from, but because of the trees it echoed in all directions. It was only when I heard Morgan shout `Where is he` That I ran in the right direction. When I got there, it seemed all Hell had broke loose. Hotch was aiming a gun at Hankel hand on the trigger, who was trapped underneath Morgan who was strangling him.

`Morgan he can`t answer if he can`t breath` Gideon shouted.

I felt total disapointment as Morgan loosened his grip. I silently urged him to keep strangling him after he told us where Reid was.

`One more chance, where is he` Morgan growled.

There was a minute of silence, in which I wanted to shoot Hankel but decided I better not, in this angle I could hit Morgan, until Hankel spoke again.

`Buried` he replied in a small voice.

I felt my blood run cold. I tuned out everything else that was said. All I could do was pray that Hankel was lying to us, that he was just trying to draw our attention away from where he had actually put Reid, but as Morgan got up, a terrified look in his eyes, and Hotch told us to look for freshly dug graves, reality set in. I stood frozen in place, tears starting to flood down my face. I felt someone grab my hand and rub it in comfort.

`JJ, we have to think about helping Reid right now, not think about what might have happened`Prentice said.

I nodded. She was right, of course. I was standing around here, crying like an idiot, while Spence was living on limited air, because there is air in a coffin, not very much but maybe enough for him to hold on until we got there. Prentice stayed long enought to make sure I was calmer, than raced off. I set off in another direction, searching for loose dirt. All of a sudden I heard Morgan yelling. It was farther away than my location, but adrenline sped me up. I got there and heard Hotch say something about coffins, then whisper something, it was really low, but it sounded like No. I looked into the hole he had dug and burst into tears. We all assumed Spence had been buried in a coffin. That was not the case, he had been buried in the dirt, with nothing to protect him or give him oxygen. I looked down at the pale, skinny arm and felt like throwing up. I quickly backed up, right into Prentice, who pulled me into a hug. I could feel sobs shaking her body. I finally had the strenght to turn around and look at Spence. I immedietly wished I didn`t. He was lying there, looking so pale, while a crying Hotch tried to give him CPR.

`Breathe` Hotch kept begging.

I didn`t even notice that Morgan was gone, all I could do was sink to my knees and grab Reid`s hand. It was so cold. I rubbed it, silently praying for him to come back to us, to grab my hand back and give me that adorable smile of his. I was so preocupied with my thoughts I didn`t hear a gun go off, or maybe my mind didn`t register it. All I could focus on was willing Reid to wake up, praying for him to be ok, my prayers went on unanswered.

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Don`t worry the gunshots will be explained in the next chapter, or the one after, depending on who`s P.O.V it is. I think i`m gonna do Prentice next. Should I do Garcia`s P.O.V. because she wasn`t really there when they found him, but she really does care about him. Plz tell me. Once again next update will be next saturday night. And after that I`ll update once a night so you don`t get bored of waiting.


	4. Chapter 4

So heres part 4 of the story, prentiss`s point of view, sorry for misspelling the name by the way, any way this was hard to write because i wanted to show the human side of her, because you know she`s pretty much expresionless, so if its that bad i understand. I would also like to say that if you get bored of this story, please tell me, because it seems like their not really doing much right now, because its pretty much same story, different point of views, but it will get better. If you are bored though, just tell me and I can probably just tell you the ending and stop writing the story.

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_**Prentiss`s P.O.V**_

To be involved in politics, you can`t show any emotions. I guess that`s why I wasn`t expresssing and saddness or fear for our missing team member. Mind you expressing and feeling are to very different things. As a child, I learned how to hide any emotion from my face or my eyes, but not how to prevent them from coming. Fear and sadness, hope and worry filled up inside of me. Being the newest member of the team, I didn`t know Reid that well, but I did care about him.

I was driving, everyone else was an emotional wreck, I was too, but like I said I`m good at hiding it. When I saw he cabin I sped up as much as I could, then slammed the breaks. The van spun in a circle before skidding to a stop. My hands were clenching the steering wheel, my knuckles white. Hotch asked if everyone was ok. I heard Gideon say something like `Physically yes` but I didn`t know. As Hotch jumped out of the van I spun around to apoligize, and saw Morgan`s empty seat.

`Where`s Morgan?` I asked in confusion.

`Probably jumped out while the car was spinning` Gideon muttered.

I watched as Gideon lept out of the car, than stared at JJ. I was worried about her. I knew she blamed herself for what happened, also Reid was her best friend. I was about to ask her if she was alright, but she quickly raced out before I had the chance. I followed. When I go into the cabin, I felt like throwing up, it smelt so bad. I decided to double check all the walls of the cabin, to see if in their rush the team had overlooked a hard to see door. Eventually giving up I walked to where everyone else was crowded around Hotch.

`There`s a cemetary out back` Hotch said as I walked up.

O god, I thought silently to myself. We might never find him. In a cemetary there`s so many places to hide, over and under ground. I quickly wiped that thought from my mind. Reid needed at least one of us to be coherent, and judging by the state everyone else was in, it would have to be me. We raced out the door. I ran to the outer edges of the trees and began searching slowly, checking behind every tree, in every bush, and coming out empty. Suddenly I heard muffled shouting from the left of me. I spun around and raced in the direction. Finally breaking through the trees, I saw a massive shape on the ground and three people gathered around the weird shape. As I got close I realized the one shape was really two. Morgan and Hankel.

As I walked up I wondered what I had missed hearing. Everyone`s faces looked really pale and Morgan was visibly shaking. Whether in fear or anger I didn`t really know. Suddenly Morgan jumped up, and in a very broken yet determined voice, told us we had to look imedietly. Hotch nodded in agreement and told us to check for freshly dug graves. That is when I realized why everyone looked so scared.

`Shit` I whispered.

I was all prepared to run and start looking just as most of the team had done almost instantly after Hotch had said those words, when I saw JJ. She was standing in the same spot, crying. I knew Reid needed me, but he also needed JJ to be strong. I grabbed her shoulder in confort and basicly told her to stop crying and start looking, though I didn`t really word it like that. Than I raced off through the graveyard. There was some disturbed dirt, but none of it really struck out as being freshly dug. Suddenly I heard shouting. As I followed the the noise, the shouting decreased in volume, and something that sounded like a shovel could be heard. I sped up. When I got there, I heard Hotch whipser something. I looked down into the hole they had dug and just burst out crying. Everything I had learned about hiding emotions had been forgotten in that moment. Seeing Reid`s pale arm, watching as the struggled to pull his un moving body out of the dirt was to much for me. JJ backed into me and I quickly pulled her into a hug, not wanting to be alone. I sobbed into her shoulder and when she pulled away to see how her friend was, I chanced a look to and instantly regreted it. The tears had started all over again, for when I had looked Reid`s chest was not moving, and Hotch was crying. I knew Hotch was pretty much emotionless, or that is what everyone around him had told me, and something really bad had to happen to make him cry. Everything around me seemed to disapear, all that my mind could comprehend was Reid. Please, I begged silently, please be ok, even though I had a sinking feeling he would not be.

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Sorry if that was to short. It`s just like i said though, Prentiss is really hard to write for. Please reveiw.


	5. Chapter 5

So here is Gideons pov during this alternate ending. Any way I was wondering, should I do Garcia`s point of view? Please review.

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_**Gideon`s P.O.V**_

I guess it`s for the best that no matter what happens, I`m always some what expressionless. I am able to keep my temper mostly in check, which is what Reid needs most from us right now. If we lose our cool, if we let emotions get in the way, we could jepordize the case, which could lead to Reid`s death. That was exacly why I needed to stay calm in this dark situation.

As the van sped down the road, I stared out the window and tried not to think about how much I wanted to hurt Hankel, to torture him like he tortured Reid, except 100 times worse. For me the ride was relativly short, because I was to busy trying to battle the raging emotions inside of me, to notice time flying by. It was only when the van started spinning that I noticed we were at the cabin. Before I could jump out, Hotch spun around and asked if we were alright.

`Physically yes` I muttered. So much for hiding my emotions.

I decided to wait for just one moment to calm down. As I was about to leave, Prentiss turned around.

`Where`s Morgan?` she asked.

`Probably jumped out while the car was moving` I replied.

Unlike me, Morgan didn`t give a shit about hiding his emotions, all he cared about was getting Reid back. I din`t know if that would be a good or a bad thing. I jumped out of the van and raced to the cabin, knowing I had wasted enough time already. When I got inside, Hotch and Morgan were shining their flashlights everywhere. I looked over to the chair where Reid had been tied up and saw it was empty, along with the cabin, no one was in here.

`Where is he?` Morgan growled.

I watched as horror filled up in Hotch`s eyes.

`There`s a cemetary out back` Hotch replied scardly.

I shut my eye`s and felt my heart clench. I tried not to think about what would happen if we didn`t find him in time. I pulled myself together and raced out the door. As I trampled through the bushes, I shone my flashlight widly around, trying to see as much as possible. I found nothing. I continued searching for a couple more minutes, I still found nothing, but I did hear a loud thud. I swung my light in the direction the noise had came from and ran. As I got close I hear shouting. My light shone on Morgan who was pinning Hankel to the ground, one hand on his throat. Hotch was off to the side, a furious expression on his face, gun aimed straight at Hankel`s head. I quickly grabbed his shoulder.

`Don`t shoot` I whispered.

Hotch had fire in his eyes.

`He deserves to die` He growled.

`I know` I replied. `And I have no problem with you shooting him, but we need to find Reid first`

Hotch nodded. He knew I was right. I truly had no problem with Hankel dying, in fact I wanted to be the one to kill him, but he was the only one who knew where Reid was, and for that reason he was still alive. But judging by the mind state Morgan was in, he wouldn`t be for that much longer.

`Where is he?` Morgan shouted in anger.

He was pressing hard against Hankel`s throat, whose face was turning red from lack of oxygen.

`Morgan, he can`t talk if he can`t breathe` I shouted.

I noticed that everyone, who had at some point shown up during all the shouting, had looks of disapointment and anger on their face as Morgan loosened his grip. I felt the same way.

`One more chance, where is he?`

There was a moment of silence, which seemed like an eternity, before,

`Buried` a voice, that must have been Tobias, whispered.

`Shut up boy` a voice growled. Charles was back.

`What do you mean?` Morgan demanded.

Hankel gave no answer, I felt my blood run cold. My eyes opened wide in shock and horror. Morgan jumped up and said something, I really don`t know what, all I could think of is how we were quickly running out of time, if it wasn`t already to late. I watched as Morgan and Hotch ran off, than set off in a random direction. I looked for anything that looked freshly dug, but nothing really stood out. I tuned out all other noises and kept walking. Which is why I didn`t notice all the commotion that was happening until I almost crashed into Morgan. I was about to appoligize, when I saw the hole they had dug. At the bottom, half buried under dirt, was Reid.

`Oh god` I whispered.

Morgan and Hotch started to pull the body out. I wanted to help but I knew I would only get in the way. I could only stand and watch as they pulled him out, and laid him gently on the ground and Hotch started to do cpr. I was to busy watching Hotch to notice morgan slip off. I felt tears begin to slide down my cheek, my heart ached as I watched Hotch`s fail attempts at ressurecting him. Suddenly I heard three gunshots from a small distance. I whirled around but could not see that far. I frowned that looked at Reid and completly forgot about the gunshots as I realized Hotch was crying. In all the years that I had known him, Hotch never cried. I stared at Reid`s limp form and realized we had lost him. I cried. I cried for the man who had been like a son to me, who had such a bright future ahead of him, who had been taken away from this world, from us, to early.

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Sorry it was short. Morgans Pov up next.


	6. Chapter 6

So here`s Morgans POV. I would just like to point out that just cause the POV`S are done, doesnt mean the story is. There is gonna be like two or three more chapters, I really don`t know. PLease tell me if I am dragging this out to long.

Warning: Mild swearing

Disclaimer: I do not own criminal minds :(

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I am going to kill this son of a bitch, the eletric chair is to good for him, maybe I`ll skin him alive. These thoughts rolled through my head as we blasted down the road.

`Hurry up` I muttered quietly.

I knew we were already pushing 180, but it still felt like we were going to slow. Reid needed us now, providing we were not already to late. I winced at the thought. If we were to late, if Reid was dead, I didn`t know how I could go on. My thoughts drifted away from hurting Hankel, to all the terrifying what ifs. What if we didn`t get there in time? What if Reid died? What if we found him and he was never the same? I felt my heart clench painfully. Even the thought of losing him made my chest tight, made breathing hard. I stared out of the window and tried to control my breathing, watching as trees disappeared behind us. That is what happens in life sometimes, you lose sight of something and it`s gone, possibly forever. That is what happened to JJ and Reid. She took her eyes off him for one minute, and he was taken from us. She should have known not to split up. She may not be a trained feild agent, but couldn`t she at least figure that much out. I honestly blamed her for what happened. I know it is stupid, that Reid was the one who split up before she could say anything, but she should have followed him. I turned around and looked at everyone in the van. Prentiss had a determined look in her eye as she drove, Hotch looked really pissed. Gideon was staring out the window, a thousand thoughts racing through his eyes, and JJ was staring straight ahead, a guilty expression on her face, tears building up in her eyes. Good she should feel guilty, I hope she felt terrible. I know it sounds mean, but anyone involved in hurting Reid had to answer to me. I turned around and stared back out the window. I saw the cabin come speeding towards us. _Reid, we`re coming, _I thought silently to myself. Prentiss sped up even more. I felt a jolt as she slammed on the breaks. The car started spinning. I felt JJ grab my arm, but I pulled away. I didn`t want to comfort her, I wanted to find Reid. The car was still spinning, as I threw open my door and rolled out. I landed on my hands and knees. Pushing myself up, I raced to the cabin. I stood by the door and waited impatiently for the car to stop spinning and the rest of the team to come out. Hotch was first. I looked t him, asking with my eyes if I could kick open the damn door and help Reid. He nodded. I raised my leg and kicked hard, I felt as the wood splintered underneath my foot, and watched as the door swung open. As i walked into the cabin, the smell helped piss me off even more, Reid had to sit in this smell for two days and try not to vomit, when I get my hands on Hankel, he`s going to be screwed. I shone my light around and saw the chair, the chair where Reid had been hurt and scared and crying, I wanted to pick it up and throw it into the wall.

`Where is he?` I growled.

`There`s a cemetary out back` Hotch replied, fear in his voice.

I froze for a second. Cemetary`s represent death, cemetary`s are used for the dead. No, no, no, i shook my head trying to get those thoughts out of my mind. Reid would be ok, Hankel probably saw us coming and they`re just hiding in it.

`He might still be alive..` Hotch started to say something but I raced out the door before I could hear him finish.

I shone my flashlight everywhere. Searching, not finding anything.

`Reid` I whispered. I wanted the element of surprise on my side. `Come on man, just give me a sign` I got none.

Suddenly I heard Hotch, he was relitivly far away away but he was shouting.

`GUYS`

I raced in the direction the shout came from and saw Hotch running. I ran as fast as I could and quickly overtook him. I saw a shape infront of us, that I knew instantly was to big to be Reid. It was Hankel. In a sudden burst of speed and lept towards him and tackled him to the ground.

`Where is he you son of a bitch` I demanded in anger.

Hankel just laughed. I felt so mad I was begining to see red. I wrapped my hands around his throat and started squeezing. The smug smile was wiped off his face.

`WHERE IS HE` I shouted in rage, pressing down harder against his throat.

`Morgan he can`t talk if he can`t breath` I heard Gideon shout.

As tempted as I was to keep strangling him, I knew Gideon was right. I loosened my death grip.

`One more chance, where is he?`

There was a moment of silence, in which there seemed to be an internal struggle going on between the three personalities. Finally one spoke.

`Buried` He whimpered. I knew immedietly by the weakness of the voice it was Tobias.

Suddenly Hankel`s face twisted in anger.

`Shut up Boy` a voice growled. Charles was back.

`What do you mean?` I asked quietly. All the anger had drained out of me, replaced by a deep rooted fear of losing Reid.

Once again Charles only laughed. I pushed myself off of him and stared at Hotch. I knew there was pain evident in my eyes.

`Hotch we need to look now` I whispered.

Hotch nodded, `Everyone look for freshly dug graves` He replied.

I felt my blood run cold, hearing those words just made this nightmare a reality. We split up. I raced through the aisles of tombstones, trying to find anything that looked freshly dug, but in the end it wasn`t the dirt that stuck out to me. It was the letters, written on a slab of rock, that turned my whole world upside down. Spencer Reid. I started shouting, and when I heard footsteps pounding towards me, I dropped onto the ground and started digging. I clawed at the dirt desperatly, not stopping but moving over abit as Hotch joined in. It was only when Hotch unburied a shovel that I stopped digging. I stood there anxiously and watched as Hotch dug quickly. Suddenly he stopped, confusion written all over his face.

`That`s weird, aren`t coffins usaully..` his voiced trailed off, as he looked down into the hole in what could only be horror.

`No`he whispered.

I looked down into the hole and felt my heart split in two. Reid`s arm was half buried under a pile of dirt. I quickly dropped down and started digging around him, loosening the soil. When it was loose enough we pulled him out. I felt tears begin to slide down my face, as I stared at his limp form. I felt the air get sucked out of my lungs and my heart felt crushed. Hotch had to be the one to do CPR, I was in no shape to. As I watched his fail attempts at saving him, I began to feel a red hot rage build up inside of me. Hankel deserved to get hurt. He deserved to suffer as Reid had. I slowly got up, inching my hand towards my gun. Once I felt it, was sure it was there, I slipped away, everyone was in to much grief to notice. I walked slowly and with purpouse towards the spot we had left Hankel. The arrogent ass hole was standing there grinning at me. Aside from getting up, he hadn`t moved at all. I stared at him, this was Reid`s torturer, he hurt my little brother, now I was going to hurt him. I slowly raised my gun up, aiming straight at his heart. I fired.

BAM, goodbye Charles, I hope you burn in the fiery pits of hell.

BAM, goodbye Tobias, why couldn`t you have been stronger and kept Reid alive?

BAM, goodbye Rapheal, I hope you suffer for all eternity.

I watched as the body fell to the ground. All three personalities were dead, but the nightmare wasn`t over yet. I raced back to where Hotch and Reid were and realized Reid wasn`t breathing, that Hotch was fighting a losing battle trying to rescue him.

`No` I moaned. `No, come one kid stay with us`

There was no answer back. I crumpled onto the ground and started crying. I couldn`t move, couldn`t breathe, couldn`t even think, all I could do was feel as the darkness pulled me in. Into a place of death and despair, of no light being at the end of the tunnel, only complete darkness.

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Please Review.


	7. Chapter 7

Because I couldn`t completely block Garcia from this story, I had to give her a POV at some point. It`s really short, it`s just her finding out about Reid, cause it`s not like they didn`t phone her when they found him. I was lying about the POVs being over though, I decided to do hospital POVs, well I havnt really decided yet. Should I? If not, this will only be about to more chapters. So if you want me to end this soon, which i completely understand, please tell me.

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_**Garcia`s POV:**_

_The screen turned black, I knew what was coming. Sure enough Reid appeared. Tied to a chair, dried blood on the side of his head. He didn`t look much different from the last time we had seen him through the webcam, but I still couldn`t help but wince when I saw him. I hated his expression, I knew we were losing him, that he was giving up, that he didn`t expect to make it out of this alive. Reid you`re gonna be fine, I thought silently to myself, the team is so close to finding you. I wished that by some miracle he could hear me, that he would somehow be comforted. He was not. Hankel walked up onto the screen, I gave up on trying to figure out which personality it was, and I realized something was wrong. His expression was one of anger and hate. Suddenly he started beating Reid and demanding him to confess his sins. I was to much in shock to call the rest of the team, the only thing I could do was clutch Gideon`s hand and cry as Reid cried out in pain, and than fell to the floor, shaking. He went still. `No` I shouted. `No` I swung my arm out and wacked the computer screen._

`OW` I exclaimed, pushing myself up.

Apparently lack of sleep got to me, I had fallen asleep on the chair seated infront of the computers. I had hit my hand on one of the computers, waking me up from my nightmare. Actually in this case flashback would probably be a better word for it. Nightmares were as far from reality as you could go, this actually happened. I wished it was a nightmare though, I could live with that, I could live with torture at night as long as I woke up and saw that Reid was ok, that it didn`t actually happen. Unfortuantly this isn`t some cheesy movie with the character waking up and realized everything that happened was a dream, this is real life, with real pain. I could feel my eyes tearing up as I started to think about Reid. I wondered how he was doing, did the team find him? I didn`t even hesitate to answer that question with a quick yes. These were some of the smartest people in the country, hell even the world, of course they would find him. I was already planning out what would happen when they bring him home. He would probably be scared and shaken up, but we would help him, I would even offer him my couch for as long as he needed to heal, providing the rest of the team hadn`t already done that, than... My thoughts trailed off as my phone rang. It sounded epspecially louder because of the fact the house was pretty much empty. I checked the caller ID. It was Morgan.

`Hey cupcake, how`s my junior G man doing?` I asked, confident they had found him.

`Garcia` Morgan`s voice was hoarse, as if he had just been crying.

I felt myself begin to panic as my confidence evaporated.

`Morgan you found him right?` I asked.

`Ya` Morgan replied, `we found him`

`Alive right?` I demanded.

Morgan didn`t answer. My blood went cold, and breathing just became ten times harder. Morgan didn`t talk for another few seconds.

`We`re at the hospital` Morgan finally answered, his voice had gone from hoarse to dead.

`I`m coming right now` I replied, standing up.

`k,` Morgan answered back. `But Garcia?`

`Ya?`

`It doesn`t look good`

Click, the phone hung up.

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please review.


	8. Chapter 8

_So heres hostpital POV number one. Hotch`s. I litterly have no idea why I wrote it like this, i just kept writing what ever idea came into my head so I have a feeling it probably sucks but whatever. Also once again, please tell me if I`m making this story to long. I tried to keep in character, because Hotch also gave up during Revelations (the tv version) at one point, i figure he might give up here to. Different side of Hotch, that we normally don`t get to see, please don`t hate. please Review._

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**Hotch`s POV**

_Sir can you please move?` The paramedic asked._

_I continued to do CPR. It was only when Gideon pulled me away, that I even realized the ambulance had come. I struggled in Gideon`s arms, trying to get back to Reid, but his grip was firm and soon I had to give up. The paramedic, I saw in the dim light that his name was Andy, bent down and grabbed Reid`s wrist, checking for a pulse. I struggled again to get to Reid. I knew it was stupid, that Andy was only trying to help, but I didn`t want anyone else touching Reid, not if there was a chance of him being hurt. After a few seconds Andy stood up._

_`How long since he stopped breathing?` he asked._

_Gideon frowned for a minute thinking, while Morgan started shouting._

_`Who the hell cares, just help him!` _

_I didn`t even bother telling Morgan to stop yelling, I completly agreed with him._

_`About 15 minutes` Gideon finally answered._

_I felt my heart stop beating for a couple of seconds. No one could survive that long without breathing. Andy seemed to agree with me._

_He pulled out a cell phone. He quickly dialed a number, waited a few seconds, then said _

_`We got a D.O.A, can you send the corroners van?` _

_Time seemed to freeze for just a minute. _

_`No` I said quickly, `He`s not dead` _

_Andy looked at me for a minute, pity evident in his eyes. So I did the only thing I could, I pulled out my credentials._

_`We`re part of the FBI, and if you don`t help him, I could get you aressted` I half lied, half ordered. _

_There was a slight possibility that I would lose my job, but that didn`t matter, keeping Reid alive did. Evidently Andy didn`t know that I was lying, he was like most of the people out there who saw us, they knew of our authority so they didn`t argue with what we said. He quickly ordered a new paramedic out, who must have sitting in the ambulance, god these people were unreliable, and while Andy did CPR, the new paramedic wheeled out a stretcher. They slowly lifted Reid onto it and than pushed him to the ambulance. As they loaded him onto the ambulance, Morgan, who was sitting on the ground, pushed himself up and started towards the ambulance. _

_`Morgan` I called, thinking that Andy might not want to help so much if he got punched in the face, `Maybe you should ride with the rest of us` _

_As if he could read my mind, Morgan turned around and shouted back `I`m not gonna hurt him, I`m gonna make sure they try their best to help Reid.` _

_I nodded and didn`t push it further. Morgan was right, these paramedics would probably give up right away if they didn`t have a little `inspiration` to keep them going. Someone as threatening as Morgan could be, is probably inspiration enough. As the ambulance sped away, the rest of us ran to the car and raced after it, the words dead on arrival kept repeating inside my head the entire time._

Now here we were two hours later, sitting inside the hospital waiting room, and the words would still not leave my head. It was like an annoying mosquito, an annoying paralizing mosquito, with the abiltity to destroy entire lives. I knew if Reid didn`t make it, our lives would be destroyed. But we were sitting here for two hours right? That had to mean something, if he was dead, I shivered at the thought, than we would be told by now right? I looked around the room, at my team. A team that had had fit together, been as close as a puzzle, now needing that connecting peice to make them whole again. A peice that might not ever come back to us. I felt a tear slide down my face. Gideon, who was sitting beside me, grabbed my hand in comfort. I could see the same fear, the same pain, that I felt, mirrored on Gideon`s face. I pulled my hand away. I didn`t deserve comfort, this was all my fault. Maybe that`s why I struggled to help Reid when the paramedics had first come, I didn`t want to let go, until I knew he was ok. We had finally found him, and he was taken away again. Once again we were completly lost, having no idea if he was ok or not, it was the worst feeling I had ever experienced. Morgan, who had been pacing the entire time we were here, finally collapsed onto the chair next to me.

`Hotch` Morgan said quietly, his voice one of a broken man.

`Yes?` I asked.

`What are the statistics of surviving after 15 minutes of not breathing?` He asked.

I gave a grim smile, `Morgan I`m not Reid, that is something only he would have known` I replied.

A couple of tears slipped down Morgan`s face.

`You just said `would have` instead of does` He said hoarsly.

I shut my eyes, `I meant does`

Morgan shook his head, anger building up in his eyes. In these situations Morgan usually didn`t get sad, he got really pissed.

`No you didn`t` He growled, `you give up don`t you?`

`Morgan, i`m sure if Reid was here, he`d tell you the improbabilties of surviving something like this` Reality had hit me like a ton of bricks, and let me tell you right now, reality sucks.

Morgan stood up and left, presumably to the bathroom, punching the walls on the way out. I sighed and turned around to find Gideon staring at me.

`What?` I demanded.

`Hotch in all of the time I`ve known you, you`ve hardly every given up`

`So` I snapped.

`So, you picked a pretty crappy time to` Gideon replied, standing up and following Morgan.

I sat back, shut my eyes, and cried. I had never cried so hard in my life than I had right there in that hospital room. I truly believed Reid was dead, that he would never make it, and my heart ripped to peices. Suddenly I heard a mild cough. I looked up and saw a doctor.

`Spencer Reid` He said.

I jumped off the chair, and everyone else gathered around me, Morgan and Gideon who had just returned from the bathroom gathered with us. We waited in anticipation for some news. The doctor cleared his throat again, than started talking...

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Please Review.


	9. Chapter 9

K, seriously im really sorry but i dont know whats wrong right now, maybe im getting writers block, this chapter is really short and like the last one, I had no idea where I was going with it, I just wrote whatever came to my head. Honestly im considering taking a break, just to think about this story, where ì`m going with it. Do you think I should do that, because honestly, I dont know about you but I feel like it`s going now where, and its really not as good as it could be. (I am a really crappy advertiser). Please reveiw.

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Spence was dead. The paramedic had even said that. My best friend was gone. The tears fell down my face, unstoppable. Sure they brang him to the hospital, but that was only because Hotch had fooled him. If Hotch hadn`t flashed his credentials, than we`d be at the morgue right now. I wanted to hit myself. Why had I given up so easily? Maybe it was because, since the begining, I had no hope of finding him. The cold hard reality was that in kidnapping situations, the statistics are dangerously low in surviving, coupled with the fact that he hadn`t breathed for over 15 minutes when the ambulance finally came, Spence really had no chance from the begining. Oh god, I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate, Spence couldn`t die, we needed him, we loved him. I felt a hand grab mine. I looked up through tear filled eyes.

`Garcia?` I choked, `when did you come here?`

Garcia smiled sadly.

`I came as soon as Morgan phoned me` She replied.

`Why arn`t you with him?` I asked.

If anyone, I would expect Garcia to first go to Morgan, especially because right now he probably needed the most comfort. Don`t get me wrong, we all love Reid so much, but Morgan consider`s him a best friend, a little brother, he loved him alot. Garcia seemed to read my mind.

`I tried, but he didn`t even notice I was there, it`s like he`s in another world` Garcia answered sadly.

I glanced past Garcia at Morgan, who was pacing around the room, a pained expression on his face, unhidden tears sliding down. I felt like my heart was going to burst, I knew if we lost Reid, we would lose Morgan to.

`Garcia, Reid`s going to make it right?` I asked.

Garcia shrugged, crying harder.

`I don`t know` she finally whispered.

Suddenly, I realized that giving up, becoming hopeless, was stupid. Reid would never hurt us like this, he would never leave us this way, leave us broken with shattered hearts. He cared about us to much to leave us now. He had held on for two days, he would probably hold on a little bit longer. Long enough for us to help him, heal him, make him better. Than he would be fine, and the rest of the team would not fall apart like we were now. We would heal along with him. Suddenly there was pounding noises coming from the left of me. I looked up and saw Morgan punching the walls as he left the room, Hotch and Gideon were argueing about something, and Prentiss was leaning against the wall, pain and saddness flashing through her eyes. She was probably remembering the graveyard.

`Funny` I said without humour.

`What is` Garcia asked in confusion.

`How one person can effect so many` I replied.

`Reid wasn`t just a person though, he was special` Garcia replied.

I nodded my head in agreement.

Garcia squeezed my hand.

`They say where there is alot of love, miracles happen` she tried to say comfortingly.

`We could sure use a miracle right now` I replied, watching as my team, my family, was begining to fall apart.

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Once again, sorry it is so short. I tried, please review.


	10. Chapter 10

_This is about Prentices POV, but I also decided to make her `heal`I guess you could say, its a little bit weird, little bit dramatic, focuses on Reid, but near the ending begins to focus on Prentiss and her past. Sorry if you don`t like, but like I said, begining to get semi writers block, semi as in its not quite there but its harder to write chapters. I tried to keep in character but I don`t really think I did in the end, sorry._

_Also I would like to thank you guys for your great reviews, and I would reply, but my computers acting stupid and it wont let me. But i appreciate every one of your reviews, especially those who have been reviewing since the begining. Im pretty sure you know who you are. _

_PLease reveiw. really short story.  
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_Reid`s pale arm sticking out of the dirt._

_The expression on Hotch`s face._

_Reid not breathing._

_The paramedic announcing him dead right away._

These images flashed through my head at an alarming rate. I couldn`t stop them from coming, from repeating over and over. The thing about this whole situation was I had no idea how to deal with it. Like I said before, every one of my emotions I had ever felt were hidden deep inside of me. I had completly forgotten what it felt like to express how I felt. I didn`t know who, if anyone, I could turn to. Most people would turn to their parents, their blood family, when they felt so hopeless, so sad, but the BAU was a better family to me then my parents were. On the other hand I could turn to my BAU family, close in all aspects but blood. That idea was lost though as I scanned the room. Morgan seemed to be lost in another world, Garcia was clutching a crying JJ, and Gideon and Hotch were sitting there quietly, unstopable tears flowing from time to time. During my short career here, this is the only time I had seen the BAU family so broken, so hopeless, in so much pain. This was worse than when we had to watch Reid getting tortured on the webcam, because at least than we knew he was alive. I tried to calm myself down, than went down to sit by Garcia and JJ. They didn`t notice I was there, to much lost in their own thoughts. I sighed, this was why I had never turned to anyone when I felt sad as a child. My parents would either ignore me or tell me to stop crying, that crying was weakness. I began to push my emotions back inside of me, than stood, still not noticed by Garcia or JJ, and walked to lean against the wall. Once again getting the horrible images in my head. I felt like screaming or throwing something against the wall, and I was usually not a violent person. It was amazing how much Reid had affected me in the short time I had known him. I thought that I might not have gotten accepted when I first showed up at the BAU, because I was replacing a highly respected member, one of Reid`s closest friends, but he had accepted me instantly. For the first time in my life, I had learned what family truly felt like, and if we lost him that feeling might be gone forever. I heard pounding and looked up. Morgan was punching the wall, with a furious expression on his face, I looked towards Hotch and Gideon in confusion and watched as they argued. These were two of the calmest people I have ever met, Hotch usually showing no emotion, Gideon able to calm himself gone, and watching them argue, I realized just how much Reid`s life meant to everyone.

`Please Reid` I begged out loud. `Please just make it through, we need you more than you might ever realize.`

As I leaned against the wall, years of hidden emotions began to pour out of me. I remembered something my friend used to say. `The troubles of the young are soon over; they leave no external mark. If you wound the tree in its youth the bark will quickly cover the gash; but when the tree is very old, peeling the bark off, and looking carefully, you will see the scar there still. All that is buried is not dead.`Looking back, I guess she was talking about me. It took Reid to be the one to pull back the bark from me, to make all the hurt, and the pain, and the anxietie`s surface. In a sense him being hurt was healing me of past wounds, and I owed him deeply for that. I prayed for what ever God was out there, to please heal him of this, to make him better.

`I promise, if you help him breath again, I`ll heal his wound, like he healed mine` I whispered.

I hoped that he would answer my prayers.


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry I didn`t realize how short the last chapter was, and this one is only a bit longer, sorry. I promise i`ll try to make them abit longer. Anyway Gideons POV. It might be out of character, but what ever, cause we actually don`t know how they feel on the inside, so it could be different from how we see them on the outside, if that makes any sense. Also this kinda knocks god down abit, so I hope it doesnt offend anyone. Its not really that bad but still. Please review.

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I felt completly numb, all I could do was sit on the hospital chair and watch as everybody fell apart. I couldn`t lose Reid, he was like my second son. I didn`t want to lose him, at that thought I gave a dark chuckle. Who want`s to lose someone they love? We didn`t have a choice when it came to things like death. That was the one thing we tried to avoid, the one thing we couldn`t prevent. I shut my eyes and felt some tears slide down my face, I had never felt so useless before, so helpless. Reid was in the emergency room fighting for his life and all I could do was sit here and mourn him, even though he wasn`t officially dead yet. My god did I just say officially? As in he`s dead, but they still havn`t told us yet? Why couldn`t I just believe in the fact that he was alive, that he would be fine and out of here in a couple of weeks. I sat in that chair for god knows how long, but for the first time I had ever been in one of these situations, I didn`t pray. After all we had been through in the last few days, I lost all belief I had ever had. I used to believe. I always thought there was a God out there, one that protected us and made people good. Than when I started profiling, I caught my first real glimpse of reality. People were not good, people were sick and twisted, there is no such thing as happy endings or else my wife would not have left me, and my belief in God had begun to fade. Than after we learned what happened to Morgan, the doubts began to come faster, if there truly was a God, he would have to be as sick and twisted as the people he created, for no one who truly loved people would put a 13 year old through that. Finally after Reid was taken and hurt for what felt like the millionth time, my belief was gone. No one would ever make some one suffer so much, someone so innocent and trusting as Reid. I sighed. This job had changed me so much. Suddenly I heard Morgan and Hotch talking.

`What are the statistics of surviving after 15 minutes of not breathing` Morgan asked.

`Morgan I`m not Reid, that is something only he would have known` Hotch replied.

Wait a minute did he just say would have instead of does? Apparently Morgan also realized that.

`You just said `would have` instead of does` He said, his voice thick with emotion.

Hotch shut his eyes, `I meant does`

Morgan and Hotch had a small verbal arguement, Hotch basicly told Morgan to give up, that Reid couldn`t be alive after not breathing for so long. I felt my heart twist as I realized that Hotch was right. Reid couldn`t be alive after that amount of time. I shook my head quickly as I watched Morgan stalk away, punching the walls on the way out. I didn`t get why of all people, Hotch chose to be the one to drag us down. He always tried to be strong for everyone, even when Elle had gotten shot, he was strong, and he had probably chosen the worst time to give up, when someone we all loved was fighting for his life.

`What`Hotch demanded, noticing that I had been staring at him.

I got straight to the point.

`Hotch in all the times I have known you, you`ve hardly given up`

`So`he replied.

`So, you`ve picked a pretty crappy time to` I replied.

I left Hotch to think about what I had just said, and followed Morgan. When he was this upset, he was likely to cause damage to himself or other people. We ended up in the bathroom. Morgan had his hand raised, ready to punch the mirror.

`Morgan` I said quickly, grabbing his hand.

`What`he snapped.

`We don`t need to be worrying about you being injured` I replied.

I didn`t mean to say it so harshly, it was just the fact that Reid had put enough stress on us, we didn`t need to worry about an injured Morgan to. Morgan nodded to indicate he understood what I meant, I think he was still to pissed to talk through. He shut his eyes for a couple of minutes, and when he opened them again, they were glistening with tears. Finally he broke down. He put his face in his palms and cried. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn`t know if he would want me to, so I could only stand there and watch as one of the strongest people I knew fell apart. And once again, I could do nothing to help. I hated the feeling of helplessness and I vowed to myself that as soon as Reid got better, if he got better, I would not stand around and watch as he healed himself. I would help him, protect him, unlike what I couldn`t do right now.

`Spencer Reid` a voice suddenly said.

My head shot up, and I quickly grabbed Morgan`s arm, but he had heard to. He wiped his eyes with a paper towel, and getting back that confident, somewhat cocky stride back to his step, he raced out the door. I knew it was all for show, Morgan did not feel confident, he felt just as hopeless as the rest of us, but he didn`t want to show it. I followed quickly behind, and caught up just as the doctor began talking to the rest of the team.

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Once again, sorry if to short.


	12. Chapter 12

**Morgans Point of View. I promise next chapter I will say what happened to Reid. (live or die) and I already know whats gonna happen so as much as I appreciate your reveiws, please do not throw in any death threats :) Please review. **

**Warning: Mild swearing.**

The ride in the ambulance had been like hell. As I paced around the room, oblivous to everyone around me, I thought about the trip here.

_When the paramedic had first arrived and asked us how long Reid hadn`t breathed for, I wanted to punch him._

_`Who the hell cares, just help him` I shouted. _

_I didn`t want to waste time talking, wasting what precious time Reid had left, providing he even had time left. I felt tears slide down my fact at the thought, but I quickly wiped them way. Reid needed everyone on the team to be strong right now, and that included me. It only went down hill from there as the paramedic announced him a D.O.A. What the fuck was he doing? He should be helping him, not calling the cororner. I was about to get up and litteraly knock some sense into him, but than Hotch pulled out his credentials and threatened him. Thankfully the guy was an idiot and believed him. Another guy came running out of the ambulance and helped load a still unmoving Reid onto the strecher. As they rushed him to the ambulance, I pushed myself up and started to follow them._

_`Morgan`Hotch suddenly shouted. `Maybe you should ride with the rest of us`_

_I knew he didn`t want me to lose my temper with these two losers, which I normally would do, but not when Reid needed them._

_`I`m not gonna hurt him, I`m gonna make sure they try their best to help Reid.` I shouted back._

_Hotch didn`t argue, he just nodded. It was partly going because I wanted to imtiminate these guys, make sure they didn`t give up, like I was sure they would do. But I was also going because I didn`t want to leave Reid`s side again. We finally had him back, I was not going anywhere, even after I knew he was safe, alive. I would continue to stay with him, protect him, unlike how I had failed to keep him safe during this case. I should have been with him not JJ, Reid was my partner, JJ was not even a feild agent. But somehow I had managed to get myself somewhere else, safe, while Reid was heading towards two days of horror and pain. I angrily punched the doors. The noise echoed throughout the ambulance, but was lost in the roar of the engine as we started speeding away. The paramedic, whose name appeared to be Andy, continued to do CPR as we drove. I walked to the side of Reid that Andy wasn`t crowding and grabbed his limp hand. _

_`Come on kid` I begged, for once not caring who heard me begin to break. `Just breathe`We got no response._

Now here we were, a couple hours later and we still hadn`t heard anything of Reid. He hadn`t breathed at all during the ambulance ride, and I had no idea if he was right now, or what was going on with him. Two damn hours later and we still had no news. I wanted to punch someone, perferably Hankel, unfortuantly he was dead. I had shot him. I regret that now, he had an easy death, I wanted him to suffer, I wanted to inflict so much pain on him, I knew everybody else did too. My legs were begining to sore from all the pacing, somehow remembering all the shit that happened, made time pass by so quickly. I crumpled down on a chair next to Hotch.

`Hotch, what are the statistics of surviving after 15 minutes of not breathing?` I asked, wincing inwardly as I said statistics, it reminded me of a sometimes annoying, smart ass, danger magnet, Reid. But the thing was, that no matter how annoying his facts could be, or how he could be a smart ass without realizing it, I still loved him, he was my baby brother. So what Hotch said next made my heart ache.

`Morgan that is something only Reid would have known`

He had used past tense to describe Reid, had he given up already. I felt a couple tears slide down my cheek. Hotch hardly gave up, so if he did, you know the situation wouldn`t have a happy ending.

`You just said would have, instead of does` I said hoarsly.

Hotch closed his eyes.

`I meant does` he replied.

I suddenly felt immense anger begin to build up inside of me.

`No you didn`t` I growled. `You give up don`t you?`

`Morgan, i`m sure if Reid was here, he`d tell you the improbabilties of surviving something like this` Hotch said, pain in his eyes.

For the first time since I had met Hotch, I wanted to punch him. I wanted to make him hurt, like he was hurting me by saying those words. I took my anger out on the wall behind me, slamming it with my fist. Than I pushed myself off the chair and walked away, punching the walls as I left. I ended up in the bathroom, I decided the toilets could probably handel abuse more than people could. But as I walked in, I decided to smash the mirror into tiny peices, because when I looked into it, I saw that Bastard, Hankel, grinning at me. With a small growl, I lifted my fist up and, Gideon grabbed me before I could hit it.

`What` I snapped.

Didn`t he understand that I had to hurt something before my anger built up to much and I hit someone?

`We don`t need to be worried about you being injured` He replied.

I slowly lowered my fist. He was right. I was being selfish. The team would be worried enough about Reid, they didn`t need to worry about me being in pain to. Also when, not if, Reid came around, he would be stressed enough, he didn`t need the added stress of me being injured. Knowing Reid he would be more worried about me than himself. I shut my eyes for a few seconds as these thoughts rolled through my head. When I opened them again, I realized my vision was blurred. Tears were building up in my eyes. Great where had that second of confidence gone? Than finally, during this whole ordeal, possibly for the first time in my life. I broke down. I put my face into my palms and cried, sobs wracked my body. I was kind of glad that Gideon didn`t try to comfort me, it was bad enough that he saw me like this.

`Spencer Reid` a voice suddenly said.

I grabbed a paper towel and wiped my eyes, trying to get that confident, cocky stride back. I didn`t want the team to see my like this. I raced out of the room and down the hall, ready to push anyone who got in my way. Luckily no one did. I heard gideon`s footsteps pounding behind me, but I didn`t stop to wait, only stopping when I was infront of the doctor, the rest of the team had already crowded around him. Gideon stopped behind me, and we listened to the doctor talk...


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors note at bottom of page, please Read after you read the story, I don`t wanna give anything away.**

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The doctor walked outside, a grim look in his eyes.

`Spencer Reid` He called out.

It surprised him how many people stood up.

`You are all family?` He asked in confusion, looking at the very diverse group of people standing infront of him.

One of them nodded.

`My name is Derek Morgan, and Reid`s my brother`

The doctor could see alot of differences between his patient and this man, but he could also see a brotherly kind of love and protection, so he decided not to argue.

`To begin with` the doctor started to say, `To be alive after more than 15 minutes of not breathing, is said to be impossible`

He looked as the group infront of him began to breakdown.

`But` he continued, smiling slightly, `Miracles do happen`

Hotch, who had been looking miserably at the ground, shot his head up as he realized, or hoped he realized, what the doctor was saying.

`So he`s alive?` Hotch half asked, half demanded.

The doctor grinned at that.

`Yes` he replied `he is`

Morgan felt a huge grin spread across his face. He shut his eyes for a moment, and felt a tear slide down his face. The tear was not out of sadness, but of a happiness he had not felt so much in his entire life.

Prentice grinned over at JJ, who`s eyes were streaming with tears. She smiled as she looked at Prentice, and before Prentice could react, JJ was hugging her. Prentice smiled and hugged JJ back, she knew this experience had helped them grow stronger as a family.

Gideon shut his eyes, so much relief and joy spreading through out him. He looked over at Hotch and saw the unit cheif standing in a daze, giving one of his huge rare smiles.

Garcia had crumpled back onto the chair smiling so much she thought her face would burst. Her baby was ok, he was alive, he would be coming home soon.

`It seemed like doing the CPR for that long supplied enough oxygen for him to...` The doctor trailed off, realizing the group was in to much elation to listen to him.

He wished that that was it, that he could leave, and let these people visit the man they clearly loved so much. But he couldn`t, not yet. He cleared his throat.

`Excuse me` he said softly.

Everyone turned to look at him, their faces falling slightly at his expression. God he hated this part of his job.

`We were in there for two hours, because we were trying to get the drugs out of his system`

Morgan froze at that.

`Drugs?` He growled.

`Yes, it seemed that they were blocking his air passages, we got them mostly cleared, but there was enough in his system to make him addicted`

Morgan felt the sudden urge to deck someone. It was not enough that Hankel had to torture and almost kill Reid, he also had to make him an addict? He felt his knuckles tighten.

Hotch had a rage in his eyes, a type of rage that no one had ever seen before, even when they dealt with the worst of humanity. Everyone else felt that same rage.

`So we, or I, want him to stay in the hospital for detox, but the good thing is he survived, a miracle that only happens in stories, not real life` The doctor tried to remind them of the fact that they hadn`t lost Reid for good, that he would go through detox and be the same, after some emotional healing, kid they had known before.

`I want to see him` demanded Morgan. Wanting to make sure this was real, to see with his own eyes that Reid was ok.

Ìt`s not recommened right after surgery..` The doctor stopped talking as Gideon flashed his credentials.

`Right this way` He sighed.

The walk down the hall seemed to last forever. As they got closer, everyone sped up their pace, excitement coursing through their vains. They stopped infront of the door numbered 251, and the doctor slowly pushed it open. Inside was a small, frail looking Reid, attached to a bunch of machines, heart moniter beeping pretty normally for this type of situation. No one, not even the doctor, could figure out how the hell Reid managed to survive so long without breathing, but looking down at his ,now, peaceful form, they didn`t care. All they cared about was the fact that he was safe, alive, and with them.

`Because it was pain medicine he became addicted to, we put as little in his system as possible, so not to overdose him, right now the pain is gone, but as soon as the drugs begin to ware off, he`ll be in alot of pain, and have unfitful sleep, which will include nightmares` The doctor explained to them.

Morgan winced. He didn`t want the kid to be in pain, he already had enough, as for the nightmares though, Gideon had helped him get through them before, he would help him now. Morgan grabbed one of Reid`s limp hands, satisfied to feel that it wasn`t cold anymore, and rubbed circles in his palm.

`Hey kid` Morgan smiled. `Get better for us K?`

The rest of the team seated themselves around the room, screw hospital regulations, and just looked at Reid. All were hoping and praying that this was not a dream, that Reid was back in the cabin with Hankel and they were still at the farm, trying to locate him, which is why none of them slept. If this was truly a dream, none of them wanted to wake up.

* * *

**K firstly I would like to point out that I know that this is probably impossible, but in my defense Reid is to damn hot to die;) Besides when I put character death in the description, I didn`t really mean Reid (actually at the time I did,) but than I killed off Hankel, and i realized that he still counts as a character. Everything the doctor said in this, except about the drugs, I made up, I don`t really think half the stuff is true or possible. When, if, you review, please do not point out how impossible it is, I know it is, I get it, just accept the fact that Reid is alive and still hot with those gorgous eyes and im getting off topic sorry. Next chapter, if you still want me to write it, is going to be about the reunion, aka the hot dr. waking up. (I have abit of a crush on him sorry:)) also I was gonna write some chapters about the detox, but only if you want me to, otherwise I can probably wrap up this story within the next one or two chapters. Im sorry this chapter is so short, next one will be longer, also I know this one was mostly Morgans feelings, but I just love the brotherly friendship these two have. Please review and thank you so much for your support.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much for not getting annoyed at the previous authors note, which is gone now this chapter replaced it, anyway this chapter will be the doctor telling them about Reids memory loss, and how they react. Well actually it`s pretty much how Hotch and Morgan react the most. Hotch because I need to start doing how the other characters care about him, not just Morgan, and Morgan`s because I love the brotherly love the two share, though I think I may have gone abit out of character sorry :) I would like to thank elphatraGuin, mythepoeia and morgo7kc for your support and helpful ideas :)**

**This chapter is abit short. Next one will be longer. (Once again tell me when you want me to stop writing, if i`m exctending this to much or whatever) please review.**

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The team sat in the hospital room for two days straight. Sometimes they left for coffee, sometimes they left to get a grip on themselves, to keep their emotions in check. It hurt them alot to see Reid like this. So dependent on machines to keep him alive. The only one who never left the room was Morgan, he sat in the same spot for the whole two days, not moving, not talking, just watching as Reid dozed peacefully. He knew as soon as the kid woke up, it wouldn`t be peaceful anymore, it would be hell. He would have to go through the pain of detox, and memory loss. Morgan sighed at the thought. Everything had been great, or as good as it could be going considering the circumstances. Reid was alive, the team had him back, and the case had been solved. Than the doctor came back and made all the good things come crashing down.

_Morgan was sitting in the room, still clutching Reid`s hand, willing him to wake up. Hotch was the only other one in the room. Everybody else needed to go to the bathroom or get coffee, all the nights of staying up taking its toll. Hotch could not understand why they would, could, leave Reid`s side, after all they had only just gotten him back, only just heard the great news that he would be ok, that he was still alive. Hotch had made a promise to himself, that he would not leave Reid until he woke up, even after he was fine, Hotch would make sure that he knew where Reid was at all times. As he stared at Reid`s limp form, he felt kind of like a father would,sad, angry at who did this, and terrified at the fact that he had almost lost him. Than again Hotch always considered Reid a son. It was probably because Reid was the youngest on the team. Only 25. He loved the rest of the team members to, they were a family, but they were more like brothers and sisters, probably because they were all close in ages. Reid was the baby of the family, he always would be, even when he was a grandpa, to Hotch he would still be the youngest. Hotch didn`t notice the doctor walk in, he was to caught up in this thoughts. Only when the doctor cleared his throat did Hotch look at him._

_`Yes?` Hotch asked._

_`It seems that Spencer isn`t going to be completly fine` The doctor said slowly._

_Hotch closed his eyes for a moment, of course, he thought bitterly, Reid couldn`t just be fine from this whole ordeal, now we have to deal with detox and something else._

_Morgan seemed to be thinking the same things, but snapped out of it faster._

_`what`s wrong?` He demanded._

_`We double checked the brain scans we did and it seems like we missed something` The doctor said this in shame, this had never happened to him before._

_`What. Did. You. Miss?` Morgan asked softly, a dangerous edge to his voice._

_`It seems like Spencer will have..` The doctor hesistaed, frightened of the look in Morgan`s eyes. It seemed like the expression if looks could kill was based upon what the doctor saw in the depths of Morgan`s eyes. _

_`Major memory loss` The doctor finally finished._

_`Major?` Hotch asked in a broken voice._

_The doctor nodded his head in comfirmation. _

_`It seems like he will not even remember basic things like how to use a fork, or the bathroom` _

_Morgan wanted to punch something._

_`How could you miss this?` He damanded._

_`It was my mistake and I accept full responsibility` The doctor replied evenly._

_`If you saw this earlier, could you have helped him?` Hotch asked._

_`It might have helped yes` The doctor admitted, feeling awful._

_`Can you help him now?` Morgan asked, his voice once again deathly quiet._

_`Right now medicine can only go so far, he`ll need your help to try to remember` The doctor replied._

_Morgan shut his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, they had a murderous look to them. _

_`Get out, send us a new doctor that is actually COMPETENT enough to help us!` Morgan shouted._

_`I am quite comp..` Before the doctor could finish, Morgan punched him in the face._

_The doctor let out a started yelp and fell backwards._

_`NOW` Shouted Morgan._

_The doctor pushed himself off the ground and ran out of the room._

_Hotch looked at Morgan, but the look he gave him was not one of anger, merely one of respect and gratitude. He wanted to do that to. Hearing the commotion in the room, the rest of the team raced into the room, to see what was wrong. After Hotch gave a general explenation of what happened, minus the whole punching thing, the happiness the team had before withered away. Once again they were going to lose Reid for awhile, and once again they couldn`t stop it._

Gideon walked into the room, looked at the only occupant in it at the time, nodded at him and sat down on his usual chair. Morgan didn`t bother saying hi, just nodded back. The rest of the team, family, walked in and sat down in their chairs, not talking to eachother, just sipping their drinks and watching Reid. Garcia was the only one who walked towards Morgan, she hated the silence Morgan had now. He didn`t even notice her presence anymore, she hated that. It seemed like when Reid had almost died, some of Morgan had died with him. The only way Morgan would ever be the same was if Reid healed completely.

`Hey hot stuff` She said, smiling gently as she sat next to Morgan.

Morgan looked up, `hey` He said.

He didn`t smile, he hadn`t done that since they had seen Reid attached to all these machines, since they had learned he would have memory loss.

Garcia passed him a coffee. He thanked her and than turned around to watch Reid, taking a small sip.

`They say a watched clock doesn`t move` Garcia said.

She was trying to tell Morgan that no matter how long he watched Reid for, he couldn`t will him to wake up. It would take time. He didn`t say anything to that, didn`t look at her, just kept watching his baby brother. Garcia sighed and went back to her chair, not bothering to try to talk to anyone. They were all lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly JJ jumped up and gasped.

`What is it?` Hotch asked.

`Reid`s hand just moved.` JJ whispered.

Everyone else jumped up to, and crowded as close to the bed as they could get. Reid moaned and slowly opened his eyes.

`kid` Morgan whispered, happiness evident in his voice, relief spreading throughout his entire body.

`Who-who are you?` Reid asked in confusion, looking at the strangers infront of him.


	15. Chapter 15

**So heres chapter 15. It pretty much just moves randomly around untill the end. Its somewhat about how everybody on the team cares about Reid, but once again I accidently made it the friendshp/brotherly thingy that Morgan and Reid have so sorry about that, I promise Reid will get some one on one time with the rest of the team.**

** Thank you so much for your support :) **

**please reveiw.**

* * *

JJ burst into tears at the sound of her friend`s voice. Though it sounded raspy and weak, it was still Reid.

`He-hey Spence` She grinned happily through the tears.

Than leaning down she kissed him gently on the forehead. He flinched away.

`who are you?` he repeated, panic evident in his voice.

JJ had a hurt expression but quickly wiped it away. She knew that Reid would have memory loss, but only thinking it made it unreal for abit. Seeing this made it completly real. Gideon stepped forward.

`Spencer, don`t you remember us?` He asked gently.

Reid shook his head.

`I don`t remember anything` He admitted.

He knew he shouldn`t be talking to anyone, after all he didn`t know these people, but deep down, he felt like he should. He felt like these people cared deeply about him, even though he didn`t even know their names, he felt like he could, should, be able to trust them. He decided it was time to start asking questions. To learn who these people were.

`Who are you?`He repeated for the third time, this time hoping for an answer, for a name.

An old man stepped forward first, he had grayish hair, and his eyes were unreadable.

`Spencer` he said quietly, `My name is Jason Gideon, we play chess together all the time, you are like a second son to me`

The man, Jason, seemed to be hoping for Reid to remember something, anything, but Reid couldn`t. He sat and frowned in thought for a moment, struggling to remember, but nothing came to him.

`I`m sorry` He said quietly, `I don`t remember`

Next up was Hotch who quickly said his name but nothing else. Unlike Gideon, Hotch would not say something emotional infront of the whole team. He would talk to Reid later, alone, about personal matters.

Prentice was next.

`My name is Emily Prentice` she said quietly, `I`m newest to the team, I came after Elle Greenway resigned`

Emily had also threw in Elle`s name because she knew that Reid and Elle were very close friends. Unfortuantly Reid did not remember. He did not remember Elle and he did not remember Prentice.

Garcia was next. She struggled not to cry as she spoke.

`Hey Reid, I`m Garcia, you know the witty technacial annylast of the team`

She stopped speaking as she realized that this had no affect on Reid. His eye`s still held the innocent confusion they had before she started speaking.

`Hey Spence` JJ said, smiling as she walked up to Reid.

Before Reid could react JJ was clutching his hand.

`I`m JJ,and you`re one of my closest and best friends` She watched sadly as Reid got no spark of recognition in his eyes, but unlike Garcia she refused to stop talking.

`We went on a date together, remember? Gideon gave you Redskin tickets for your birthday` She finally stopped talking, and started crying.

This was to hard on her. She hated the fact the Spencer, her Spence, couldn`t remember who she was.

Morgan had watched in silence as the rest of the team had explained who they were to a completly clueless Reid. He wanted to be first one up. To talk to Reid, whether or not he knew who the hell Morgan was, because he had missed the kid so much. But he waited, as much as he wanted to rush forward and hug the kid, he waited because he wanted some alone time, some one on one time. Now that it was his turn, he walked to an expressionless Hotch and told him he wanted to be alone. Hotch nodded and gathered the rest of the team to get some coffee. Morgan waited till the room was clear, than sat on a chair right infront of Reid`s bed.

`Hey kid` He said smiling.

Reid frowned at him.

`Hello`he said politely.

Morgan chuckled. Even without his memory, Reid was still nice.

`Don`t you remember me?` Morgan asked.

Reid shook his head. That hurt Morgan more than any words could.

`It`s Morgan, your one of my best friends, and my baby brother` Morgan replied.

Reid sighed in frustration. He didn`t remember anything, and for some reason that scared him. Alot. He felt lost without his memories, without his smarts. Wait a minute, smarts?

Reid cleared his throat.

`Was I smart?` He asked.

Morgan grinned at that.

`Smartest person I have and will ever meet` He replied, `You have an iq of 187 and an eidetic memory`

`If I was, am, so smart, how come I don`t remember anything? What happened to me, how did I end up in the hospital?`

Morgan sighed, even with memory loss, the kid was to smart for his own good.

`How do you know you`re in a hospital?` He asked.

Reid shrugged than replied `There`s a sign right outside the window that says `City Centre Hospital, Gives a caring and compassionate atmosphere for your loved ones as they heal`

Morgan stared at Reid in shock.

`you`re not even facing the window right now, how did you know that`

`I saw it for one second out of the corner of my eye before the truck parked infront of it` Reid said, as if this were the simplest thing in the world.

Morgan rolled his eyes, and felt relief that Reid forgot about his previous question. He didn`t want to be the one to explain to Reid why he was here.

`seriously though, why am I here?` Reid said, as if reading Morgan`s mind.

Morgan cursed.

`Does the name Tobias Hankel ring a bell?` Morgan asked.

Reid shook his head, `Should I know him`

`I really wish you hadn`t` Morgan replied.

`Can you just stop messing around and tell me why i`m here` Reid snapped irritably.

Morgan stared at him in shock. Why had he gotten so irritable all of a sudden? Suddenly Reid grabbed his stomach.

`Morgan` He moaned, all the irritation and anger out of his voice.

Morgan quickly grabbed the garbage can on the beside as Reid threw up into it. Moments ago, he had been to happy to see Reid alive, to talk to him, that he had forgotten all about it. _Detox. _


	16. Chapter 16

**So withdrawel begins. Not that much in this chapter though, actualy theres not much in this chapter, some doctor explanations that I half looked up, half made up, and some angsty emotions. ****Once again tell me if Im dragging this out to much.**

**Thanks so much for your support :)**

**plz review.**

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Reid threw up once more, before grabbing his cramping stomach and laying back. Morgan put the garbage can back on the side of the bed and looked at Reid in concern.

`Are you ok now?` He asked.

Reid was shaking, tears streaming down his cheeks.

`I`m so sorry` He gasped.

Morgans stared at Reid in shock.

`For what?`

`For that, I could have grabbed the garbage, you didn`t need to see that`

Reid looked exausted.

`Kid, none of this is your fault, just sleep, when you wake up, I`ll explain everything`

`Promise?` Reid whispered.

`I promise` Replied Morgan.

Morgan watched as Reid fell asleep, still mumbling appoligies. _At least I know it`s Reid. _Morgan said to himself. _Who else would appoligize for something that isn`t their fault, something they can`t control? _

The rest of the team walked in and found Morgan sitting by Reid`s bedside, praying. Reid was asleep. Gideon raised his eyebrows at the sight. After all that Morgan had been through, after all the pain he had suffered, the only time he tried to pray was now. To help someone else. Garcia walked up to Morgan.

`Hey my sculpted chocolate god` she said grinning.

She was still sad over Reid, but she needed to lift the team spirits up. Morgan smiled at her.

`Hey babygirl` He said smiling, it was a sad smile, but at least it was a smile.

She handed him a coffee, which he eagerly chugged down, knowing he would need lot`s of energy for the tough days ahead.

`What`s that smell?` Hotch asked, nose wrinkling.

`Reid, got a little sick` replied Morgan.

Hotch frowned, `didn`t you call a doctor?`

`yea`Morgan replied, pointing to the doctor`s call button on the side of Reid`s bed.

As if on cue, a petite young women walked into the room.

`You called?` She asked.

`Are you the new doctor?` JJ asked.

`Yes, everyone else was, ummmm, a little scared of being hit`

Morgan winced. If Reid didn`t get good medical care because of him...

Hotch, not caring who the hell the doctor was so long as they helped Reid, looked at the young doctor. Usually he would use common courtesy and ask her name, but right now he cared more about Reid.

`Whats happening to Spencer? Is he going through withdrawel?`

The doctor nodded her head.

`Yes, his body has been craving the drugs for three days now, and since it`s not getting them, well let`s just say, it is uncertain how long it will last, but it will not be pretty`

Morgan looked at her for a moment.

`That`s the most you can tell us? That it won`t be pretty` He growled.

`Well I could also tell you what the withdrawel symptoms are` She replied evenly,`He will get stomach pains, nausea, headaches, chest cramps, he will be really irritable, he will possible pull away from you, also called social isolation`

She stopped talking, realizing this was probably not helping the moral of the people standing infront of her.

`And he might experience other things, but he might, probably, will be, in alot of pain.`

`Can`t you give him something for the pain` Gideon asked desperatly, not liking the thought of Reid in any more pain than he already was.

The doctor stared at Gideon in shock.

`It`s pain medication he`s craving, by placing more into his body, even a little bit, will intensify the craving, making him in so much more pain, making the withdrawel last longer, is that something you really want?`

Everybody shook their heads. That was the last thing they wanted.

Morgan stepped forward, an angry expression on his face, which was when JJ decided to intervene. She didn`t know if they would get another doctor, if Morgan hurt this one.

`What about his memory?` she asked, changing the subject, `The last doctor said he had major memory loss, but he seems to know how to most basic things, his eidetic memory is intact, and it seems like his profiling skills are still there`

The doctor smiled at that.

`He was wrong, Spencer`s memory is still there, and he should be able to reach it quickly, 1 to 3 weeks, but you guys are going to have to help. You have to tell him alot about his life, starting from childhood, to now. You should start with how he got here first though. Explain in every single detail how he ended up dead for 15 minutes, and why he has to go through withdrawel. Than explain to him with great detail, his childhood. If he can reach those memories, the earliest ones, he should be able to reach the more recent ones more easily`

She noticed the teams discomfort.

`It will be hard, some memories you might not want him to remember, but it will help`

She left the room.

Everybody looked at eachother in horror. They would have to make Reid, their son, brother, friend, remember the torture he had suffered at the hands of Tobias, which would be nothing compared to the torment and torture he had experienced as a child. The doctor just told them, to tell him, the worst experiences of his young life. Ones even he wished he could forget. How could they do it? How could they make him remember the worst things that ever happened to him?


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17. Mostly deals with Gideon being a total dick. No offense. Sorry for that language. Any way I went and read this whole story (starting from chapter one) And I feel like it`s not that great. So I don`t know, I might update, might not. And i`m sorry if im annoying you with these mood swings I get where I hate the story, than I love it, than I hate it again. I don`t mean to annoy anyone**

**Please review.**

**Warning`Mild swearing**

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Reid woke up a couple of hours later. He was trembling, and breathing heavily.

`Reid are you ok?` Gideon asked in concern, though he knew he wasn`t.

`My chest hurts` Reid whimpered.

`I know` Gideon said gently.

It was something the nurse said would happen during withdrawel.

`Why? Why do I feel so bad? Why am I here? Why can`t I remember anything?` Reid asked.

Gideon sighed, normally he was happy with Reids overly curious mind, but right now, he wished that Reid would just accept things. Like the fact that he was in the hospital, or why he hurt so much. That way the team would have had more time to prepare what they were going to say.

`Do you really want to know?` Gideon asked, stalling for time.

Reid nodded, than winced as the movement caused him a headache. Gideon sighed, he had no choice now, after all it really was Reid`s right to know. So, the rest of the team, who had been watching the going ons quietly, stood up and moved as close as they could to the bed. Hotch took the lead.

`Reid, do you know the name Hankel, or Charles and Tobias Hankel?`

`No` Reid replied in frustration, `Morgan already asked me, and I don`t remember a damn thing`

The team stared in shock for a moment at Reid. He had never sworn before, or talked to Hotch that way. They knew it was the withdrawel that was making Reid moody, but it was still a shock for them to see him this way.

`Well they are the reason you`re in the hospital, them and somebody else, Raphael, an angel` Hotch continued as if nothing had happened.

`What happened?` Reid asked.

Hotch didn`t want to continue anymore. The most he could tell Reid was their names. He didn`t want to tell Reid, make him remember, the hellish two days he had experienced in the cabin. Prentiss stepped forward to continue, she seemed once again in contoll if her emotions.

`They were three different personalities in one man. It was Tobia`s body, Charles was dead, but Charles was the dominent personality. We don`t exactly know what happened in that cabin, only you do, but we did see you a couple of times on webcam. The first time, you had to choose someone to die`

`Did I?` Reid intruppted.

`Yes, but it saved the lives of other innocent people` Prentiss replied, trying to make it sound as much as it wasn`t his fault as possible.

Reid felt tears trailing down his face.

`I caused the death of an innocent couple` He said quietly.

`No you didn`t cause...`Prentiss paused for a moment, `Wait a minute, I didn`t tell you it was a couple`

Reid didn`t hear her, his eyes were glazed in pain and guilt. He was starting to remember. Not alot, but he did remember the couple.

_

* * *

_

He was bound to the chair, unable to move, as he watched the webcams. They seemed like nice people, they seemed to love eachother, but love couldn`t protect them, couldn`t help them as death made his way onto the screen. The wife was sitting on the living room chair, a knife pushed onto her throat, by a man dressed all in black. The husband came back out of a room, Reid was unsure of where, and saw his wife, saw the knife. His look was one that Reid would never forget. It was full of pain, fear, sadness, and guilt over not being able to take care of his wife. And all Reid could do was watch, watch as two innocent people lost their lives because of him.

* * *

`I`m sorry` He sobbed, `I`m so sorry`

`Spence`JJ said sitting on his bed and pulling him into a hug.

`It`s not your fault, it never was, and never will be`

Morgan watched as his friend broke down and he could do nothing about it. He knew the kid would blame himself, he always did for things that were beyond his control, things he could never prevent.

Prentiss hated herself right now. Why had she told him? Because the doctor said it would help? It helped him revive one memory, one in which everybody hoped he would forget. One of which he would never forget, never stop blaming himself for.

Gideon could tell Prentiss wanted to back down, to stop talking, so he stepped up.

`The second time, you did die` He paused, wincing at the memory, than pushed on. `You had an heart attack, somewhat because of the drugs in your system, which Tobias gave you as means to escape, to escape the cabin, to escpape the suffering. That is why you are hurting so much now, because you are going through withdrawel. Anyway the third time you had to choose on of us to die, you chose Hotch, but you didn`t mean you wanted him to die, you were sending us a clue, which we figured out, and we got to the cabin right after Hankel buried you alive, you were dead for 15 minutes, it`s a miracle you survived.`

The team was staring at Gideon in shock. They didn`t expect him to be so blunt about it, infact he was almost brutal. Reid`s eyes were full of pain and fear, he was remembering.

Hotch grabbed Gideon`s arm and physically pulled him outside the room.

`What the hell!` Hotch practicly shouted, `Were you thinking!`

`That he needed to know, and everybody else would just have beat around the bush` Gideon replied calmly.

`You could have been nicer about it` Hotch retorted angrily.

`I thought I was, considering the situation`

`Oh yeah, saying he was buried alive and dead for 15 minutes was really considerate!` Hotch shouted.

Gideon winced, realizing Hotch was right.

`I`m sorry` Gideon said quietly.

`I`m not the one you should be appoligizing to` Hotch said coldly.

They walked into the room and saw Reid sleeping. Morgan glared at Gideon than turned back to watch his sleeping friend. Gideon sat down into his chair and put his face in his hands. He had been to blunt, and he knew it. He made Reid remember the worst two days of his life. And that`s all the poor kid remembered so far. Gideon sighed. How the hell were they supposed to make him remember his horrible childhood. Gideon`s train of thought was lost as he heard Spencer start screaming.


	18. Chapter 18

**This is chapter 18. Thank you so much for your reviews:) This chapter is mostly morgan and reid centric, with the rest of the team thrown in. **

**Please review:)**

* * *

Naturally Morgan was first to react. He jumped up and started shaking Reid.

`Come on kid, wake up, it`s just a dream`

`Please don`t do this` Reid shouted weakly, `Morgan help me`

The shouting decreased and he started to sob.

`Kid wake up` Morgan shook him gently, desperatly.

Reid`s eyes flew open. He clutched Morgan`s arms with his hand and held on tightly. JJ stood beside him and stroked his hair.

`Shhhh` She soothed. `Shhhh Spence, it`s gonna be alright, you`re safe now`

Reid sat for a couple of minutes, trying to calm himself down.

`Spencer what happened?` Prentiss asked.

`I was back in the cemetary` Reid shuddered, `He was burrying me alive, I could feel as the dirt fell onto me, pressed me` The tears started again.

He cried for a few more minutes, than pulled his hand away from Morgan`s arm.

`Sorry` He said quietly.

`Kid, it`s not your fault you had a nightmare` Morgan said gently, but he was glaring at Gideon at the same time.

Gideon felt his heart clench in guilt. This was his fault, he shouldn`t have been so blunt about what happened.

`I have to go for a minute` Gideon said quietly to Hotch.

Hotch nodded, understanding why.

Gideon raced out of the room.

`Good riddance` Morgan muttered.

Suddenly Reid grabbed his stomach. Hotch instantly understood why. He grabbed the garbage can from the floor, which had been cleaned out from the previous sickness, and pushed it under Reid`s mouth just in time. Reid threw up into it, twice.

`I`m sorry` He sobbed.

JJ stroked his hair.

`That wasn`t your fault Reid` She said quietly.

But he didn`t hear her, he had drifted off to sleep.

Morgan sighed as he watched his friend`s sleeping form. Tomorrow, he checked what time it was on his watch, actually later on today, they would tell him about his childhood. Which, from everything the team had heard about it, had not been a good one. Morgan didn`t know how they could make him suffer like that, make him remember the worst things that ever happened to him, after all, weren`t they supposed to care about him? This would really prove that, Morgan thought bitterly to himself.

Reid woke up a couple of hours later, his eyes were red rimmed with bags underneath.

`Hey kid` Morgan said, smiling gently. `Look who decided to wake up`

Reid looked around the room.

`Where is everybody else?` He asked in confusion.

`They left because they thought it would be best if I talked to you alone` Morgan replied.

`About what?`

`Your childhood`

Reid frowned, `Why alone`

`Let`s just say your childhood is less than pleasent, and because you told me the most about it, they figured I should be the one to explain it to you`

_And they didn`t want the guilt, _Morgan thought to himself, deciding not to voice that part out loud.

Reid looked at him expectantly, waiting.

Morgan sighed and began.

`You were a very smart kid, infact you graduated highschool at age 12, but you were also a victim of` Morgan trailed off, he didn`t want to keep going.

`Of..` Reid prompted.

`Severe bullying. The kids at your highschool once stripped you down and tied you to a goalpost` Morgan stopped talking again.

He hated himself right now, hated that he had to make Reid remember some of the worst things that ever happened to him. Especially this incident. Morgan winced as he recalled how the kid had been crying as he told him that story. Morgan could tell that Reid wanted him to keep explaining, so he pushed on, unable to believe that he could every forgive himself for this.

`Your father left you at a very young age, because he couldn`t bear all the stress your mother witnessed, so you had to take care of her. She was, is, a schizophrenic, whic worries you, because you think schizophrenia..

`Genetically passed` Reid finished the sentence.

Morgan stared at him.

`Kid are you starting to remember?`

Reid ignored the question.

`Morgan` His voice sounded so young, so full of pain, `I`d like to be alone for abit please`

`Are you sure?`

`Please` Reid begged.

Morgan nodded.

`Fine but, I`m not going farther than outside the door, so if you need me call`

Reid nodded in agreement, so Morgan turned around and left the room. Reid was remembering his painfilled past, and Morgan knew, by the look the kid had in his eye, that he was really hurt from it. Once again the poor kid was hurt, but this time it was Morgans fault. As he leaned against the wall next to the door, he felt his heart break in two, as he heard Reid start to cry.


	19. Chapter 19

**Yay chapter 19 :) I didn`t really expect to get this far so thank you so much for all your support :) I also didn`t really expect to make any pairings, but somehow I managed to, sorry for those who don`t wanna read that type of story.**

**plz reveiw**

* * *

Morgan wanted to go right back into the room and comfort his friend, but he couldn`t. Reid would call him if he needed him, also, Morgan could tell this was helping him recover his memory. And he hated that the most. How Reid had to hurt, to be in so much pain, to heal. So he did what he usually did in these type of situations. He took his anger out on the wall. He started pounding it as hard as he good, to caught up in beating the crap out of it, to notice the rest of the team walk up. Hotch grabbed Morgan`s arm.

`Morgan stop` He shouted.

Morgan stopped, and turned to look at him.

`Hotch`he snarled, everyone could hear the self hatred for himself in every word, `If I don`t do this I will fucking hurt myself, which I deserve`

Hotch quickly let go, knowing that Morgan was telling the truth. He would rather have the wall hurt than another one of his agents. Morgan resumed punching the wall.

`So, how did the talk go` Prentiss asked quietly.

`Great` Morgan replied, his words dripping with sarcasm, `He remembered, is remembering, every fucking thing that happened to him.`

Everybody winced as they heard the crying coming from Reid`s room. JJ was about to march right in, when Gideon grabbed her arm.

`He needs to be alone right now, if he needs one of us, he`ll call us` Gideon said quietly, it pained him to think of Reid, someone he considered to be a son, going through this alone.

`Right` JJ replied nastily, `because you know exactly what he needs`

Gideon winced, she was right, he had been wrong about telling him about Hankel, could he be wrong now? To the shock of everyone, Morgan agreed.

`Gideon`s right` He said, in between pounding the wall, `Reid needs to be alone right now, to get a grip on what`s happening`

JJ finally relented, but only because Morgan said so. He knew what was best for Reid. So they collapsed onto the chairs outside the room, feeling their hearts break everytime they heard Reid cry. Morgan was still beating the holy hell out of the wall, he had alot of pent up anger, when the nurse told him, if he didn`t want to be kicked out of the hospital he better stop. So he did, leaving behind a giant hole, and sat next to Garcia.

`Hey baby girl` He said, using a forced smile.

`Hey hot stuff` She replied, studying him.

`What?` He asked.

`I know you blame yourself for the emotional pain Reid is going through, but it`s not your fault, and you did it to help him` She replied.

`I know it`s stupid and selfish, but I was hoping that he would remember everything but his childhood` Morgan sighed.

`How is it selfish, or stupid?` Garcia asked.

`Selfish because, I hated to see him hurt everytime he said something about his past. I never wanted to see that, and I wished he never experienced it, also because if he didn`t remember his childhood than he would have a huge hole in his memory, something he`s terrified of. Stupid because than he would never be the same kid again`

`Morgan that`s not selfish at all, all you want to do is take his pain away, I want to do the same thing, and well yea it is kind of stupid, I don`t ever want him to change` Garcia smiled.

Morgan smiled back sadly.

`Thanks for listening pen` He said quietly.

`Anytime, my chocolate sculpted god` She replied grinning.

Before she could react, Morgan pulled her into a hug. Without a seconds thought, she hugged him back, completly comfortable and alright with it.

* * *

Prentiss smiled as she saw Morgan and Garcia hug. She nudged JJ, who looked up and, despite her saddness, grinned.

`I can see it` She said quietly.

`See what?` Prentiss asked. She was happy to change her train of thought from Reid`s saddness.

`Them, Morgan and Garcia, together` JJ said quietly, `They would make a good couple, plus he`s a really good guy, he would take care of her, besides it`s obvious they care about eachother, alot`

Prentiss realized they wern`t talking about Morgan and Garcia anymore.

`JJ, you two would make a good couple` Prentiss said, smiling, `I can totally see it`

JJ looked at Prentiss hopefully, but that expression was quickly wiped away.

`Why would he?` She asked bitterly, `It`s my fault he`s here`

`JJ, he really cares about you, you should see the way he smiles when he sees you, it`s the time he looks the happiest` Prentiss said.

JJ put her head in her hands, considering. She did care about Reid alot, more than friends, and she knew he cared about her, after all they did go on a date. But, her inner voice reminded her, that was only because Gideon told him to take her, if he hadn`t they probably wouldn`t have gone out at all. She sighed, knowing it would never work, neither of them had the confidence to admit how they really felt. Suddenly a strong sense of determination gripped her. She would go in that room and tell Spence how she felt, and hope that he felt the same way. So she stood up and walked to Hotch, who was talking quietly with Gideon.

`Hotch, I need to go see Spence` She said quietly.

He nodded and gave one of his rare tiny smiles.

`Trust me he does` Hotch said.

JJ raised her eyebrows, wondering if he could read her mind. Than she remembered he was a profiler, so he pretty much could. She half walked, half ran into the room and saw that he was fast asleep.

`Spence` she said quietly.

He groaned but didn`t say anything.

She pulled up a chair right next to his bed, than sat down and grabbed his hand. She didn`t let go until he woke up a couple of hours later.

`JJ` he mumbled in confusion, staring at her.

`Spence` JJ said, `You remember me?`

`Somewhat, I don`t remember a couple of things but it`s coming back`

She beamed, maybe he remembered if, at all, he had feelings for her.

`Spence, we need to talk`

`Ok` He nodded.

Suddenly he clenched his stomach. She grabbed the garbage can. When it was over, he looked at her and flushed.

`I`m sorry` He mumbled.

`Spence you don`t have anything to appoligize for` JJ replied stroking back his hair.

`What where you going to talk about?` He asked, feeling sad as she pulled her hand away.

`Do you remember that date we went on? To the Redskins game?` She asked hopefully.

`I`m sorry no`He replied, looking at her in genuine confusion.

All of JJ`s confidence evaporated. She had no idea how to continue.

`Never mind` She mumbled.

She could tell Reid was going to press the issue, but than he grabbed his head in pain.

`I`ll call the nurse` JJ said quietly, getting up and leaving the room, leaving a confused and somewhat sad Spencer behind.

* * *

**AWWW i`m so freakin jealous, and I wrote the story :P I don`t like JJ anymore, actually I didn`t like her when she went on that date with Reid, until then I thought she was cool, as soon as she got married to will, she was cool again. I`m sorry I`m just randomly babbling right now. Plz reveiw:)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Yay chapter 20 :) This is pretty much the team argueing and falling apart. Something I never want to happen. Anywho, thank you so much for reading this, it kinda exctended farther than I thought it would (20 chapters) but plz bear with me, it is only going to be like 2 or 3 more chapters, so if your getting bored sorry i promise its almost over.**

**Please reveiw:)**

**Warning:Mild swearing.**

* * *

Reid frowned as JJ left the room. What was that all about? Had they truly gone out together? He smiled at the thought. He had felt certain emotions to her since he had first saw her after waking up. He hadn`t even realized they had gone on a date. Maybe if he remembered that, he could remember alot of other things to. It all came to him in flash, giving him a headache.

_Gideon was giving him something for his birthday. He was surprised because he wasn`t the type of person to give gifts. He took it and gingerly opened the box. Inside were two Redskins was confused, he didn`t really go to games, Gideon knew that. Than Gideon told him, there was a Redskins fan on the plane, he indicated JJ. Reid smiled at the thought, than stood up and walked to where she sat. He sat down and awkwardly asked her out. She smiled and nodded. _

He smiled as he remembered the game. Their first date, their only date. His smile vanished, he knew it would never work. Suddenly his chest tightened, he gasped in pain. The nurse, who JJ had presumanbly called, walked into the room.

`How are you doing` She asked kindly.

`Fine` Reid replied, wincing at the pain.

The nurse could sense his discomfort. She wished they could give him pills to help with the pain. But she knew it would only worsen it, so she did the best she could. She fluffed his pillows and emptied the garbage can so he wouldn`t be in discomfort. She smiled as he objected to it, it was obvious he was embarresed. She wondered how anyone could hurt someone as sweet and innocent as him.

`Do you want me to call your `family` in?` She asked.

He nodded.

`Thanks` he smiled.

She smiled back and walked out of the room. She knew these people wern`t blood related, but she could tell they really cared about eachother. They loved eachother as if they were family. She walked out of the room and everybody jumped up.

`How is he?` Demanded a tall african american man.

`He is requesting visitors now` She replied.

Without another word, they raced into the room. They surrounded Reid`s bed, Morgan looking at him guiltily.

`I`m sorry kid` he said gently, `I didn`t meant to cause you any pain.`

Reid smiled at him.

`It`s not your fault` he replied, `I know you were trying to help me`

Morgan smiled back.

`Though the pounding of the wall outside was kind of a nuisence` Reid added in. `Next time could you take it out on a cushion or something?`

`Next time?` Prentiss interjected, `Is there going to be a next time?`

`Prentiss, I remember everything now, and I seem to have a history with hospitals, what is it, every third case I wind up in one?`

`More like second` Hotch said, giving one of his rare smiles.

Reid grinned back.

`Welcome back Spence` JJ said, leaning down and giving him a hug.

Reid smiled at the touch and held onto her as long as he could, JJ doing the same thing. It was only when Morgan started wolf whistling, did they pull apart. Both their faces were a bright pink, but they were grinning in happiness.

`Yup, our awkard genious is back` Morgan replied grinning.

Reid grinned back. Than suddenly his expression changed.

`Shut up Morgan` Reid snapped, `Contrary to what you believe, I can get a girl`

Morgan immediently backed down. He knew it was the drugs talking, not his friend.

`You`re right, I`m sorry`

Reid expression once again changed. This time to guilt.

`I am so sorry` He said, `I didn`t mean to be rude`

Reid was once again back. Once again blaming himself for things that were out of his control. Morgan walked up and grabbed his friend`s hand.

`Kid, it`s not your fault`

`It is, I shouldn`t have seperated with JJ at the farm.`

Morgan sighed and shut his eyes for a moment, he should have realized it would come to this.

`Look, it was just bad luck, it was something that nobody could have avoided.`

He looked down into Reid`s eyes, and saw so many mixed emotions swirling around in the hazel pools. There was guilt, saddness, fear, happiness, pain, and love among others. He knew that the kid must feel really confused. So he walked around to Hotch.

`Hotch do you mind if I talk to Reid alone?`

It took Hotch a minute to decide. On one hand he wanted to stay, to make sure Reid was ok, on the other he knew that Morgan was probably closest to him on the team, and therefore would know how to make him feel better. So he nodded, somewhat reluctantly, and indicated to his other agents that they should leave. Gideon was first to agree, knowing he would only cause Reid more pain, which is something he didn`t want to do. Prentiss shot Hotch a look that said `No freaking way` and sat down on the chair defiently. Hotch was reminded of his stubborn son, Jack. Garcia was about to argue when Morgan gently touched her arm.

`Please, baby girl` He pleaded. `You can come right back in as soon as I`m done.

She nodded her ok, but he could tell she didn`t like it. JJ was the only one to openly argue.

`No way, I`m not going` She said.

Reid looked around him in confusion. Had he missed something? Since when were they talking about leaving? Morgan sent her a pleading look.

`Please JJ, I just need to talk to him, it will be fast` he promised.

She shook her head, `I`m not leaving`

`Why are you and Prentiss being so difficult` Morgan shouted.

Everything was just to much now. His best friend had nearly died, now he had to go through the pains of withdrawel and all he wanted was 10 minutes at most alone with him. Was it really so hard for them to let him have that? JJ stared at him in shock, Morgan had never lost his temper with her before. Prentiss was glaring.

`You spent the most time with him` She said icily, `Hell I havn`t spent more than 10 minutes with him since he woke up, maybe I want to help to`

`You can help by leaving the god damn room` Morgan said back, just as coldy.

`Enough` Hotch shouted, deciding it was time to intervene.

That silenced everybody. He glared at them.

`We need to talk in the hall now` He ordered.

They wanted to object, but judging by his furious epxression, that would probably not be the best idea. Everybody filed out of the room and stood in a circle around Hotch.

`We almost lost him, but we got him back, you would think that, that would make you happy enough, but it hasn`t. You guys have fallen apart, both as a team and a family. You got mad at Gideon, which I understand, hell even I did to, but than I realized it was stupid. Because as much as he had hurt Reid, he also helped him. So stop holding the grudge against him`

He stared pointily at JJ, than continued.

`Morgan you helped him by reliving his painful childhood, and now you hate yourself for that and are trying to make things right, and I get that, it`s good,but taking the excess anger out on everybody else is not. Prentiss you are mad because you havn`t done much to help Reid, which is not your fault, but screaming at the people who are will not help him either. JJ we all know why you don`t want to leave Reid`s side, we get it, but if you want to help him, you are going to have to learn to let go for a few minutes.`

`I thought we agreed on not profiling eachother` Morgan muttered.

`You guys` Hotch continued as if Morgan hadn`t said anything, `Need to stop being so selfish and thinking about your own feelings and start thinking about Reid.`

Everyone winced at that. Hotch was right, if they didn`t, the team would fall apart. Which, as Garcia watched her family, her babies stalk away to seperate corners of the hall, it seemed like it already was.


	21. Chapter 21

**Did not realize this chapter was so short sorry. It`s mostly talking. yaaaaaaa. Is anybody even reading this story anymore?**

**Please review.**

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Prentiss angrily walked towards a chair that was seperate from everyone. As she sat down her anger became directed to herself. Why was she so emotional? She used to be able to hide her feelings so well, she used to be emotionaless. How the hell did one person she barely knew affect her so much? She had turned on everyone, her family, that had accepted her almost instantly. She sighed and pushed herself up, walking towards Morgan.

Morgan wanted to punch something, but he couldn`t. The nurse had stressed upon the fact that he could be kicked out of the hospital if he kept abusing the walls. So he sat down and felt anger swirl around him. He hated Hankel for hurting his friend like that, for hurting everyone else, he wanted to re-kill him, make him suffer. The anger at Hankel had no outlet, Hankel was gone, so he took it out on everything and everybody around him and he realized that was stupid. It wasn`t Prentiss`s fault that any of this happened, all she wanted to do was stay with him and he was kind of an ass about it. He looked up as Prentiss sat next to him.

`Hey` she said quietly.

`Hey` Morgan replied.

`I`m sorry`

`No` Morgan sighed, `It`s my fault, I shouldn`t have lost my temper`

Prentiss smiled alittle at that.

`You do have a tendency to do that in these types of situations`

`I hate people hurting someone I care about` Morgan admitted.

`So do I` Prentiss agreed.

Hotch watched Morgan and Prentiss make up and he realized he should probably do the same thing. He stood up and walked to JJ.

`Hi` Hotch said.

`Hi` JJ said stonily back.

`Look, i`m sorry for calling out your feelings like that, it was out of line`

JJ nodded her head, `yea it was`

Hotch sighed.

`I`m sorry` He repeated.

JJ gave a sad smile, `I am to`

Hotch gave one of his rare smiles.

`Can we go see Reid, he might be kind of confused.`

Hotch nodded, `Probably`

So everybody got up and filed into the room.

`Hey` Hotch said quietly to a very stressed out looking Reid.

`What happened?` He demanded, `You guys just started screaming and left the room`

Gideon looked at him.

`We had a slight arguement`

Guilt swamped Reid`s face.

`Sorry` He said quietly.

`For what kid?` Morgan asked gently.

`It`s my fault that your mad at eachother`

Hotch gave a frusturated sigh. Would Reid ever stop blaming himself for everything that goes wrong? Reid seemed to Reid his mind.

Smiling sheepishly he said `Probably not, it`s in my nature`

The nurse walked into the room at that point. She looked around awkwardly, somewhat embarresdly.

`Ummm, I know this won`t really help much, but it might make you feel a little better` She said pulling a heating bag from behind her back. Reid grinned.

`Thanks` He said, reaching for it.

When he grabbed it, he shoved it on his stomach and sighed in relief. Everyone smiled and relxed as their friend felt better.

`Thank you` Hotch said, smiling.

The nurse nodded, her face still flushed red, and stumbled out of the room. Morgan raised his eyebrows.

`Looks like pretty boy has a fan` He said grinning.

Reid`s face flushed even more. Than he twisted around and grabbed the garbage can from the floor. Morgan winced at the retching noises. When he was done, he placed the garbage can on the floor, and lay back.

`Can I be alone` He mumbled.

Everyone looked at eachother, confused. Was he embarresed?

`Kid you have no reason to be embarresed` Morgan said.

`I just really want to be alone right now` Reid said, his voice sounded tired, sad.

They were reluctent to leave, but knowing it was the withdrawel, and it couldn`t be helped, they filed out of the room.

`Why the sudden mood change?` Morgan asked.

`Well during withdrawel, you do tend to have mood swings` Garcia pointed out.

`It`s not mood swings` Gideon said quietly, sure of himself.

`What is it than?` JJ asked.

Morgan`s eyes grew wide.

`Social isolation` He said grimly.


	22. Chapter 22

**So i may have confused people with the social isolation thingy, so sorry bout that, anyway it`s what happens when people go through withdrawel, they become isolated from everyone else, I tried to look it up but it doesnt really give specifics, so I made it how I think it would be. So im sorry if it`s not completly accurate, so some facts may be wrong so Im sorry, I tried to make it as real as possible. Thank you so much for your reviews:)**

**Please review:)**

* * *

They tried to talk to him. To get him to listen to them, but he withdrew from them. He didn`t seem to acknoladge their prensence most times. When he did, he would turn his head away and try to block the sounds of their voices. He didn`t want to listen to them, he didn`t want to see them. He asked the doctor not to let anyone in his room. She obliged. This hurt them more than words could describe and each of them took the hurt out in a different way.

Along with Reid, Morgan also withdrew from the team. Easily angered and snapping at everyone, he sat in the chair farthest from everyone. He wouldn`t talk to them, they wouldn`t talk to him. Only when he would be aloud to go back into his friend`s room, to talk to him, would he begin conversations with anyone else.

JJ felt more emotional than she ever felt before. Spence not wanting to see her was like a knife stabbing her heart. She should have told him how she felt. Maybe then it would be a bit different. Maybe than he would at least want to see her.

Prentiss sat down and sighed. She was emotioanally drained. All she could do was stare at the wall and wonder how the hell everything had changed so fast. It was barely two weeks ago that they were laughing around and joking. Now nothing was funny. Nothing that happened was a joke.

Garcia looking in the mirror in the bathroom. While she was crying her make up had run. She didn`t want the team to see her like that. She wanted as much normalcy as she could get. After all this situation wasn`t exactly unnormal. Her junior g man had been in the hospital so many times, she wondered if he secretly lived there. That thought made the tears come again. Why was it always him?

Hotch was thinking the same thing. Why was it always Reid? He probably spent the most times in the hospital then all of them put together. Why? He was one of the most innocent people Hotch had ever met. And yet he was always the one people hurt.

Gideon sighed, putting his head in his hands. This was ridicules, they had been here for a week now, how much longer? How much longer would the man he considered to be a son suffer?

The nurse came out of his room, smiling grimly at them.

`Good news ` She said slowly.

Everyone snapped out of their thoughts and looked at her.

`What`s the good news?` Hotch demanded.

`Well, social isolation is one of the last symptoms of withdrawel, he should be out of here in a few days`

Everyone grinned, feeling happy for the first time in what like felt like forever. The mood lightened considerably.

`Can we go see him?` asked Gideon.

The nurse grimaced, `Not quite yet`

The mood changed considerably. Everyone went back to their seats and got lost in their own thoughts again. The nurse looked sadly at them. This was why she both loved and hated her job. While she could bring good news, she could also bring bad, something she hated.

She walked back into the room, knowing it was stupid because the drugs were doing this, but wanting to get through to him.

`Hey`She said softly.

She didn`t get a response. Reid just lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

`Your family really wants to see you` the nurse had grown so used to calling the group of people outside the room a family. After all they did kind of resemble one.

What she said seemed to go through one ear and out the other. But she pushed on.

`This is really hurting them, you not talking to them` God she sucked at this.

A look of annoyance passed through his face but he still didn`t say anything.

`They really care about you, and I assume you care about them`

She saw a look in his eyes. Guilt. She was getting through to him.

`You should feel guilty, you are hurting them alot, they care so much for you, they havn`t left this damn hospital for a week now. And the most you can do for them, is block them out` She hated sounding this nasty, but she could see it was the only way to get through to him.

He turned his head to look at her, the first time he had looked at anyone in over 2 days.

`Can you please get them` He asked.

She grinned. `Of course`

They raced into the room, looking and surrounded Reid`s bed.

`I`m sorry` He said quietly.

`Kid, it was the drugs, not you, if there is anybody to blame for all that`s happened, it`s Hankel`

Reid smiled.

`Thanks Morgan`

JJ grabbed his hand.

`hey Spence` She said quietly.

`Hey JJ` He said smiling at the touch.

She reluctantly pulled her hand away as he threw up into the garbage a couple of minutes later.

`Sorry` he appoligized for what seemed like the 100th time since he first woke up.

`It`s not your fault` JJ said smiling as she stroked his hair.

`So how much longer till i`m out of here?` Reid asked.

`Another couple of days` Hotch answered.

`Great` Reid sighed.

Morgan laughed.

`Come on pretty boy, stuck in a room with three women and a hot nurse, what`s to complain about?`

Reid looked up in horror at Prentiss, JJ and Garcia.

`You guys are staying here? he asked.

`Girls` Garcia corrected, `And yea we are.`

`Ouch` Prentiss said, `you don`t want us here`

`No, I didn`t mean it like that, I meant that` Reid stuttered, unable to finish before Morgan intruppted.

`He hates being taken care of`

`Really I never would have guessed` JJ said dryly.

Reid looked at her in confusion.

`With the amount of time you spend in an hospital, it seems like you love the attention`

Reid blushed.

`No` He retorted, `Do you know the statistics of getting hurt on an daily basis`

They could tell he was about to launch into an explination so Prentiss intruppted him.

`No and I don`t want to, that would just depress me`

Reid shut his mouth.

`Sorry`

`Anyway` Hotch said,`Gideon, Morgan and I are going to go finish the paperwork for this case, we`ll come see you later`

`Don`t they` He pointed at the girls, `have paperwork to?`

`Yea well so do you kid,`Morgan replied, `But we`re taking care of that to`

Reid sighed,

`I`m gonna get you back Morgan` He warned, `watch your back.

Morgan laughed.

`Good luck with that, and good luck with them` He pointed to the Garcia, JJ and Prentiss.

Reid shot him a death glare.

Morgan chuckled as he left the room.

* * *

**Sorry if the end is kind of disapointing. I tried to make it end happy for once, and it sucks so sorry. **


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 yay:) The story is almost over now, because he still needs to also emotionally recover from this, so there will be one or two more chapters at most:( (this chapter is short, sorry)**

**Thanks so much for your support**

**please review**

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Reid hated being taken care of, but that didn`t mean he didn`t enjoy having JJ, Prentiss and Garcia around. They distracted him from the pain, and somehow made him forget all that had happened. When he got sick they didn`t judge him but comforted him. It was all he could have ever asked for. Morgan, Hotch and Gideon visited him as often as they could, each trying to comfort and make him happy. The days seemed to blur into eachother, each passing faster than the next for Reid. He had his friends, his family, to make the time fly. He talked to them about what he missed, how they found him, and what was going to happen next. Morgan offered Reid a room in his house until he fet completly better, which Reid refused. As soon as he was out of the hospital, he would be fine. Not everyone else shared this optimism though. They knew he would not be totally fine, not for awhile yet. Maybe physically he would be, but emotionaly was a different story. As much as Reid tried to deny it, they knew he would have emotional reprocussions. Which was what Morgan was trying to tell him, as they sat alone in the hospital room.

`Morgan` Reid grinned at him, `I need to tell you somthing`

`So do I ` Morgan replied.

Reid looked at him,

`You first`he said.

Morgan nodded.

`Kid, at some point, when you get out of here, you`re going to realize you almost died, that you did die, and that fact will hit you like a ton of bricks`

Reid frowned at him,

`I`m fine` He replied, `I know I almost died, I`ve come to grips with that`

`No` Morgan disagreed,`you havn`t, you are still in shock right now,`

Morgan raised his hand as Reid began to protest,

`It will affect you alot, which is why I think you should stay with me, or someone else on the team, till you truly accept it`

`Thanks`Reid replied, `But i think i`ll be fine`

Morgan sighed, Reid argued that he was fine, but Morgan didn`t believe it.

`What`s you news?` Morgan asked.

Reid beamed at him.

`The craving is gone, I get to go home tomorrow`

Morgan felt a wide grin spread across his face.

`Welcome back kid` He said, pulling Reid into a hug.

Reid grinned.

The rest of the team was elated. JJ, Prentiss and Garcia immedietly hugged him, while it was a surprise to everyone that Hotch did also. Gideon was his usual self. He gave Reid a smile and welcomed him back, but did not hug him, merely leaned against the wall and watched as everyone else did.

`Do you think I could have some coffee?` Reid asked, hopefully.

Morgan laughed and ruffled his hair.

`Yea Reid`s defintally back`

Gideon, wanting to do something to help him out, hurried out of the room and got some coffee. He brang it into the room and smiled as he saw Reid`s eyes light up. Reid chugged it down, while everyone smiled at how normal this was. Everyone together, safe and alright for the time being, having fun together. Maybe Reid was actually fully recovered, maybe he wouldn`t suffer in his mind. Everyone hoped this, as they watched him, fully happy and still so innocent, they didn`t want anything more to happen to him.


	24. Chapter 24

**Basicly Reid is physically recovered, but is he emotionally? That pretty much sums this chapter up. Ending is kinda lame sorry.**

**please review:)**

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Everyone stayed the night, sleeping somehwhat uncomfortably on the chairs. It was about one in the morning and only two people were awake. Morgan and JJ.

`This is so rurreal` JJ whispered, watching Reid as he turned in his sleep, `It seems like something you think would never happen to people you care about`

`With this job, we have to accept that it might` Morgan replied darkly.

JJ gave a sad smile, `I know, but Spence especially doesn`t deserve it`

Morgan nodded his head in agreement, though he doubted JJ could see him in the darkness of the room.

`I don`t think any victim does` Morgan replied, hating the fact that he called Reid a victim.

`He is not a victim` She said furiously, `He`s not some damn statistic, he`s Spence`

`I know JJ` Morgan sighed.

He couldn`t wait for things to go back to normal, or as normal as things could be in their profession. Morgan lightly teasing Reid, Reid rambling some statistic that only he would know, sharing the happy feeling they got when they figured out who an un-sub was and caught him/her. Yep the BAU definination of normal was different than what most people would consider normal. But he knew that normal would be far, they all did, Reid still had to recover. Nothing would be same until he was completly ok. As if to prove this fact, Reid started shouting in his sleep. Even his subconsious wouldn`t let him have peace.

`TOBIAS` Reid shouted, `TOBIAS HELP ME`

Morgan shook him.

`Come on kid, wake up`

Reid`s eyes flew open.

`Morgan?` He asked.

`Yea kid, it`s me` Morgan said gently, `You`re safe`

Reid was shaking,

`What happened` asked a bleary Prentiss.

Reid`s screaming had woken everyone else.

`I was back in the cabin` Reid said, his voice shook, `The first time, the first time I died`

Everyone winced. This was when Gideon and Garcia had been the only ones at the computer, trying to get rid of the videos of Hankel killing someone. Suddenly the webcams turned on and they had seen Charles beating up Reid, finally knocking him on the ground, which was when Reid started to convulse. It was the first time they thought they had lost him, and it hadn`t been any easier than the second time. Garcia hugged him, tears in her eyes as she remembered.

`It`s ok` She soothed, `You`re safe here`

`I know` Reid said shakily, `It just seemed so real, but i`m good now`

He saw the team look at eachother, clearly not believing him.

`I`m fine`he insisted.

They nodded and went back to their chairs, watching as he dozed off. None of them believed he was fine.

* * *

He woke up again around noon, the room was empty. He looked around in confusion, where was everybody? Morgan walked in the room.

`Where is everyone?` Reid asked.

`They went to the plane` Morgan replied, `They thought it would be best to give you some space`

Reid nodded,

`Ok, hey do you have my go bag?`

`Course pretty boy, wouldn`t want you wearing a dress to the plane` Morgan replied.

Reid blushed.

`It`s not a dress, it`s a hopsital gown` He retorted.

`You know when they had dances, or balls, back in time, they used to wear ball gowns` Morgan said grinning.

Reid glared at him.

`Just give me the bag`

Morgan through it to him and left the room. Reid quickly pulled on some clothes than raced out of the room, almost crashing into Morgan.

`Sorry` He said.

Morgan chuckled.

`Can`t wait to get out of here?`

Reid nodded, than shuddered.

`I hate hospitals, they creep me out`

`Really?` Morgan asked, `In all the time you`ve spent in hopsitals, I`d assume that you`re used to them`

`Assume makes an ass out of you and me` Reid replied, `Now can we go?`

Morgan nodded. They checked out and than drove to the plane. Everybody else was waiting inside, they grinned when they saw Reid walk in.

`Hey Spence` JJ said happily,`How are you?`

Reid sat down in his usual seat, smiling at how familiar it felt, than answered.

`I`m fine`

Prentiss, Hotch and Gideon smiled at him, and Garcia hugged him for what felt like the millioneth time. He felt at home, cared about and loved. Morgan sat next to him as the plane began to take off. Reid couldn`t help but look out the windows at the twinkling lights below. It looked so beautiful, so peacefull and good. Something Reid had missed out on. He had only seen the evil. He winced as he thought about Hankel. Maybe Morgan was right. Maybe he wasn`t quite recovered yet. No, he told himself forcefully, he was fine, he didn`t need anyone to stay with him. But as he stared out into the dark sky, he couldn`t help but remember the two horror filled days in the cabin.

* * *

Hotch sat across from Reid and Morgan. Morgan glanced at him but Reid didn`t notice he was there.

`Reid`Hotch said quietly.

Reid didn`t look at him, didn`t respond, just stared out the window. Morgan looked at Hotch worriedly. Hotch sighed.

`As much as he`s trying to deny it, he`s not alright` Hotch said quietly.

Morgan watched as his friend started to shake. He grabbed his shoulder and shook it lightly.

`Kid you ok?` He asked, concern in his voice.

Reid looked at him, blinked for a few seconds, as if trying to remember who he was. That scared Morgan. Finally Reid slowly nodded his head.

`I`m fine`

Morgan raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Reid sighed.

`Fine, i`m not ok, I thought I was, I couldn`t wait to leave the hospital, I felt happy and safe and I didn`t keep having flashbacks of the cabin. But as soon as the plane lifted off, my mind just kind of drifted back, remembering the past two days.`

Hotch looked at Reid sadly, his amazing memory was sometimes to good for his own good.

`Reid` Hotch said slowly, choosing his words carefully, `I know you are exceptionally strong, and I know that you will recover from this whole ordeal, but in the mean time I`d perfer if you`d stay with someone, at least till your nightmares stop`

`That was one nightmare` Reid protested.

`But there will be more, you know that`

`I`ll be ok` Reid insisted.

`Why are you being so stubborn?`

`Because` Reid mumbled, `I don`t want to be a burden on one of you`

Morgan intercepted before Hotch could reply.

`Reid you wouldn`t be a burden` Morgan said, `Hell i`d let you live in my house if you needed to`

Reid gave a small smile.

`So you wouldn`t mind?`

`Of course not!` Morgan replied.

`Just a few nights, if that`s ok?` Reid half said half asked.

`Course` Morgan grinned.

Reid smiled, laying back on his seat. Maybe healing would easier than he thought. Especially with his friends to help.

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**Once again sorry about the ending. But I tried.**


	25. Epilogue

**This is it, the last part of the story, the epilogue i guess, anyway its really short sorry about that. Thank you so much to everyone of you for reading and reviewing and alerting this story, it made me really happy, You guys are really awsome -hugs everyone- Also if this ending is bad im sorry, it`s the best I can do.**

**Please review:)**

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The first few weeks had been hell. Reid woke up screaming every night. Morgan would rush into the room, pull him into a hug, and reasure him that he was safe. By the second week, Morgan didn`t even bother sleeping. He just sat on the chair next to the couch that Reid was sleeping on, and watch tv. That way when Reid even started to have the nightmare, Morgan could tell because Reid would start shaking, he would wake him up before he got to into it that he started screaming. Finally though, Reid would sleep without the dream, and Morgan would finally go to his room to sleep. Reid had stayed at Morgan`s house for four weeks. The dreams had left by week three, but Morgan forced him to stay, wanting to make sure they were truly gone.

He went back to his old apartment, and smiled in happiness. He had liked sleeping in Morgan`s house, knowing there was someone who would help him and protect him from the dreams, but now he was doing better. He needed to prove to himself that he coulde handle sleeping by himself, handle even just being by himself, to show that he was ok. He knew he wasn`t completly ok, he probably would never be.

Occasionally, with his profession in was unavoidable, he would see things that reminded him of Hankel. Kidnappings, drug abuse, the one that was the worst for him was when he met a man named Adam. He also had another personality. It brang up memories of Tobias, memories he had hoped to bury in his brain. He couldn`t save Tobias and he regretted that, and he couldn`t save Adam, but he was damn well going to try.

Everything that had happened gave him empathy, making him a better profiler, better at his job. He could relate to the fear and saddness all the victims felt, so he started a support group called the surviving victims of violent crime. The SVOVC. His team helped him with it. They sent letters all over the world, to members of the group, letting them know they were not alone. Reid knew how much the letters meant to everyone, after all he had been a victim, and he didn`t know how much he could have healed without the support of his friends, and his mom. He had gone to talk to her, feeling guilty for sending her away, and asking if she resented him for it. She quickly denied the fact, because she loved him to much and knew he was only doing it to help. Reid`s life was begining to go back to normal, and his family helped him every step of the way.

-Family is about love overcoming emotional torture.-

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** I didn`t know if that quote really worked at the end, but I think it did. Anyway this is it, the story is done :( please tell me what you think:)**


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